Women around the world will be treated to such an extraordinary feat of feminism in 2016 that they’ll scarcely know what to do with it. No, I’m not talking about the first female president of the United States – that’s small potatoes! Instead, early next year, a new book will present “a brave new perspective on feminism” that feminist academics and activists have inexplicably ignored for decades: how to be hot.
Writer Polly Vernon, who has penned thought-provoking pieces such as “You hate me because I’m thin” and “Am I too old for cleavage?”, is writing a book about how feminists can be cool, fit “and maybe – just maybe – a little bit thinner.”
Finally, women are getting the “feminism” they never asked for.
Vernon’s book, which is excerpted this week in The Times Magazine, is a reaction to a type of feminism that exists largely in the writer’s head, rather than reality.
“What kind of feminist am I now?,” Vernon writes. “The shavy-leggy, fashion-fixated, wrinkle-averse, weight-conscious kind of feminist. The kind who, at 43, likes hot pink and men.”
Because the rest of us are all flannel shirt-wearing man-haters with hairy legs? This caricature died years ago, and any hint that was left Beyoncé promptly trounced last year.
Vernon’s real trouble with feminism today is that she – and some of her friends – finds it judgy. They’re wracked with guilt whenever they get a bikini wax or order a salad (“because feminists don’t eat salad”) as if there is some sort of terrifying feminist overlord checking their nether-regions and lunch menus daily.
Vernon writes, “Feminism is increasingly defined by a sense of what you can’t do, shouldn’t say.” Yet ironically, her own feminist “manifesto” is mostly defined in negatives. She offers a list, in fact, of all the things she isn’t offended by.
She’s the cool girl who doesn’t mind if her boss calls her “babe” or “chick”, and a revolutionary for not caring if a man holds a door open for her or not, as if this has been a point of great feminist debate for years. (It hasn’t; no one cares.) And she doesn’t care about how Photoshopping female models or celebrities impacts women’s self-esteem, how many women are represented on political panels on television, or if the media makes snide comments about what female politicians wear.
Vernon writes that she’s saving her ire for issues like the wage gap, rape and access to abortion. I’m glad she’s found issues that matter most to her – but it seems, well, stupid, to pretend that the “important” issues aren’t impacted by those Vernon deems silly. How many women are represented in political conversations on television matters if you’re worried about the public hearing about the pay gap. Female politicians are much more likely to be pro-choice – do you really want them dismissed and derided on their clothing choices? And while media images of women may not bother some, they’re part of a culture that presents women as sexual objects there for men’s pleasure. If you care about rape, you need to care about women’s bodies being modified and “perfected” objects.
Listen, I get it. Feminism is having it’s cultural zeitgeist moment and Vernon wants in – and why be a Bad Feminist when you can be a hot one? The title Hot Feminist titillates, and the content is controversial in a bland sort of way, if you’ve never read anything about feminism except what its detractors purport that it’s about. But despite wrongheaded beliefs to the contrary, feminism has never been about making women feel good or supporting everything they do – it’s a political and social movement for equality. If Vernon wants to get behind that, great. No one will even care if she diets along the way.