In every relationship a little anger can go a long way. A simple word can cause a lot of damage to the giver and the receiver. I saw that firsthand when anger and hurt filled up my weekend because of a bad situation with a friend.
By the end of the weekend, not only was I feeling hurt and angry with my friend, but those feelings had spread to other areas of my heart and mind as well. It had been a while since I really examined my relationship with God, and lets just say, I had a lot of work to do because my anger spread to Him as well. It made me ask, “Is it normal to have hateful feelings towards God?”
I’m not a theologian, but I do think that every once in a while, especially when we are going through a rough patch in life, it is normal to feel anger towards God. Even Job, one of God’s most loyal followers says, “I cry out to you, God, but you do not answer; I stand up, but you merely look at me” (Job 30:20). Everyone has breaking points. This weekend, I reached one of mine, and I felt as if God abandoned me. Like Job, I wondered where He was and why He wasn’t helping me out of my misery.
There was a fight going on in my soul, and the side that held everything that was good and wholesome and kind was losing. In its place, all the resentment, loneliness and anger that I generally hold back were oozing out.
Today, I am still in the midst of the battle. But I don’t plan on giving up any time soon.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you get yourself out of it? Please share, as it might help others going through a similar struggle.
Footprints on the Journey 
I call these times my “mind battles” and they usually hit at about 3 a.m., whereupon I tell myself a couple of things:
1. Most importantly, STOP IT!
2. You can’t change reality in your head!
3. It’s not nearly as bad as you’re imagining it, so think about something else!
And then I go back to sleep and in the light of day things look a lot better.
🙂
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