Happy Tuesday, !

It may feel like, as a single mom, you have to rely on your baby daddy for all kinds of support, monetary and otherwise. Recently, someone asked me how I would recommend dealing with a difficult ex. My answer: make him inconsequential.

When someone has you by the short hairs, and they know it, they can abuse their perceived power. He knows you need that child support money, so he withholds it for a few extra days or just doesn't pay you at all. He knows you need him to pick up the kids on time so you can get to work, so he shows up late on purpose. He knows you want to be the main mother figure in your kids lives, so he inserts his "girlfriend of the week" into his visitation time.

Single mom, you are NOT at the mercy of your ex. If you feel like you are and want to make the shift to feeling like you're not, keep reading.

Listen up, ladies, because I'm saying something important: your ex only has the power over you that you allow him to have. You make him important by letting him get under your skin, irritate you, and get away with behaving badly.

You can also take your power back. You can make him inconsequential in your life. You can let him be the dad he wants and shows himself to be, and not let it affect you and your relationship with your kids -- or frankly your life, at all. 

Here's how:

• Stop relying on his money. Get yourself a copy of The Successful Single Mom Gets Rich! and make the 100% commitment to yourself to become financially independent as soon as possible. These extra dollars will give you the freedom to give anything you want to yourself and your kids, including education, experiences, vacations, extra-curricular activities, and even a fancy attorney who can handle the fight while you're enjoying your life.
• Stop relying on his timeliness. That abundance of money you're making? It can hire you a babysitter, and eventually a nanny. You can get yourself out the door to your work -- or your hot date -- on time, every time, because you've got back-up. Then it won't matter when he can bother himself to show up.
• Stop listening about what he's saying. Unless he's saying really awesome things to you, encouraging you, and being amazing {and if he was, you'd still be with him, right?}, he's lost his ability to share what he thinks with you about anything. If you want his opinion, you can give it to him. If not, nod, smile, and get on with your day.
• Stop wondering what's he's doing. Wait a minute, you're still connected to him on Facebook and he knows it? Of course he's going to post photos of his trip to Cabo with Cindi-with-an-i, the new hot ride he bought, and all of the fun he's having. You don't have time to look at it, see it, or get pissed off about it. You've got better things to do, so do them. Go ahead and disconnect with him on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and anywhere else you might happen to see what he's up to. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Have a great week!