I remember singing a song when I was a seven year old Brownie:
As I’ve moved- through the years, and around the world, I have made many friends. Some silver, some gold, but new vs. old is not the division line, and one is not more or less important or significant, in my life, than the other.
I lived in the same home and went to the same community of schools from preschool through high school graduation, and I have friends who came into and left my life throughout that time; some of whom will be with me, in my life, or in my heart, forever.
As I move around the world, I find that making new friends is a bit like dating, at least I imagine that’s what it’s like, considering I haven’t dated in about 25 years. I meet people through my kids, or in my neighborhood, or through other friends, and I rarely meet someone I would not want to see again; but, just like anyone else, I connect with some people more instantly and deeply than others. These women are the ones who will remain close friends no matter how far the government sends us from one another. Others are friends based on proximity or circumstance, but that does not make them a less integral part of my life. Each friend has her own place in my heart and is just as important to me, it’s just that everyone connects on different levels for different reasons and spans of time.
I learned an important lesson 10+ years ago: it is essential to connect with other women, no matter how short our stay might be. Back then, I always felt the temporary-ness (yes, I know that’s not a word) of our living situation deeply. I’d think, ‘we are here for six months or two years or some other finite amount of time, and then we are moving on, so whomever I connect with will be just one more person I’ll have to say goodbye to when we leave.’
I later realized that this self defeatist mindset made me waste precious time and miss great opportunities to connect with fantastic women.
I don’t waste time now, I seize every opportunity I can to make deep attachments and I know they will last for the rest of my life. Thanks to email and Facebook and Instagram, I can feel like I’m a part of the lives of my friends, and they mine, no matter how far flung we are. I’m much better off having let them in. Whether we see each other once a year or once in a lifetime, my life is better for having crossed paths with the precious women who touch my life.
You know who you are. Thank you.
The Deployment Diatribes 
Erin, this is so spot-on! Thanks for sharing the insight!
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Erin, Ditto, I say! I have always loved the saying about people coming into our lives for a reason and season or a lifetime; none any less precious! I too am so much better having known them all! As always you hit it the nail on the head and eloquently so my dear! Thanks for taking the words right out of my mouth! I respect and admire you dearly! KEL
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I am constantly amazed at the friendships I make with people I never would have suspected. It’s such a neat part of life, and helps us be more compassionate and well-rounded.
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I remember that song from Girl Scouts, too. We’d sing it in rounds. I have a few very good friends from those days, and some people I remember fondly but have lost touch with. Some of my friendships are more than 40 years old, others are just a few months. And then there are those connections that are no more than a friendly smile and nod as we pass each other in the street while going about our daily tasks.
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I still live in the town where I grew up and now have some friends who were kids I didn’t like as a child. I have still lost friends from them moving away from me though. After three close friends moved away during a particularly difficult time of my motherhood, I struggled to get close with anyone new to town who I figured would probably move away again. I managed to overcome it eventually and did become close friends with someone i knew would move and we have stayed much closer through FB.
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So true. Putting off making friends because you won’t be there forever deprives you of opportunities to know great people and have them know you! It’s harder to put yourself out there when you know you’ll need to say goodbye, but it’s worth doing, anyway!
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