Marlboro Man loves this sandwich. It uses very simple ingredients and is so rich and satisfying, he’ll forego food for weeks (okay, hours) if he knows one is on the horizon.
Matteo loves this sandwich, too.
Matteo is Marlboro Man’s cousin, and he requires (not requests—requires) that I make this sandwich for him whenever he comes to town. He loves this sandwich every bit as much as Marlboro Man does, but with a slightly disturbing twist: he doesn’t want anyone else on earth ever to have one. In fact, yesterday when Marlboro Man informed Matteo that a demonstration of their favorite sandwich would be appearing on this website today, Matteo actually objected. He didn’t think it was a good idea for Ree to share the idea with the world, he said. I was puzzled. "What’s he gonna do?" I asked. "Market the recipe to the masses, make a fortune, and retire at 35?" Marlboro Man explained, "No. He just doesn’t want anyone else to know about it. He’s very protective of his sandwich."
I still don’t understand it, but the sheer lunacy this sandwich has apparently fostered in Matteo is a clear illustration of just how good it is. It’s meaty. It’s manly. It’s flavorful. And your man will grunt and daydream about Makita table saws and heavy machinery as he woofs it down.
Let’s get started on this testosterone-beef-fest, shall we?
The Cast of Characters: 2 1/2 pounds cube steak (tenderized round steak that’s been extra-tenderized), sliced onions, butter, Lawry’s Seasoned Salt, Worcestershire sauce, and Tabasco. How simple is that?
Let’s start by slicing the onion.
Here’s how I do it: First, cut in half from the root end to the top.
Then lay each half on its side and cut off the top.
Peel off the outer layer of skin…
…And start slicing away.
Next, melt 1/4 stick of regular butter in a skillet. (This is not the last you’ll see of the butter, mark my words.)
Add the onions.
Stir together. Cook over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally, until onions are soft and light brown (about 7-10 minutes.)
While the onions are cooking, go ahead and slice the meat.
Notice how the tenderizing has given the meat a directional grain?
You’ll want to slice against—or perpendicular to—the grain.
Cut each piece into strips…
Until it’s all sliced.
Now season the meat with a nice sprinkling of Lawry’s.
The onions, meanwhile, have been cooking away. They’re just about right.
Transfer the onions from the skillet to a plate. Now it’s time to cook the meat.
Add 2 Tablespoons butter to the same skillet. Turn the heat to high.
Let the butter melt and begin to turn brown, about two minutes. You’ll want the skillet to be hot.
Now add the meat to the hot skillet in a single layer. Do not stir.
Let it sit for about a minute, or long enough for one side to turn brown.
Using a spatula, flip the meat to the other side.
Notice the first side was allowed to get nice and brown. When it comes to the surface of meat, I’m a big fan of color. In my humble opinion, there’s nothing worse than gray meat.
Once the meat is brown, generously add Worcestershire sauce. Start with about 1/2 cup.
You can always add more later if it needs more juice.
Next, add Tabasco to taste. About five or six shakes is sufficiently hot for Marlboro Man, way too hot for most kids, and not hot enough for Matteo.
Stir to combine.
Then add another 2 tablespoons of butter (yes, I said "butter" again) just to finish off the sauce. I promise, you won’t regret it.
Oh. One more thing. If you’re looking for low-fat recipes, you’ve come to the wrong place.
Next, add in the onions…
Stir together. Now cover the meat mixture and let it sit while you prepare the rolls.
I use these.
Or these, whichever happens to be available in my teeny-tiny local grocery store.
Now, if you like to do things the right way, spread each half generously with softened butter. (Yes, I said "butter". Wanna make somethin’ of it?)
But if you’re a rebel like me and can’t be bothered with softening butter and dirtying a knife, just do this.
And keep ON doing it…and doing it…and doing it…
Until the surface is sufficiently coated with sizzling butter.
Lay the rolls face down on the pan.
When they’re lightly browned, flip ’em over for just a few seconds, to warm them through and through.
Lay the bottom of the roll face-up on a plate.
Place a layer of meat and onions…
All over the top.
Then—and this is vital—spoon a little sauce from the bottom of the pan over the meat.
This makes the sandwich extra yummy and moist.
Place the other half of the roll on top of the meat…
And voila! A rib-stickin’, man-pleasin’, not non-fat sandwich your whole family will love. Just be sure to double up on the Stairmaster for the three weeks following this meal.
Now, if I weren’t married to a straight-up-meat-and-potatoes rancher, I would probably cook a bunch of sliced mushrooms with the onions. I’d add a little sherry to the meat mixture. And I’d melt a little sliced mozzarella on the top. But that’s just me. Truth is, you could play around with this sandwich as much as you’d like: different veggies, different seasonings (thyme, fresh garlic, etc.), or a topping of different cheeses. Go play! Have fun! And report back to me if you make any life-altering modifications.
And go get on the Stairmaster. Now.
