When Sadness Lurks in the Shadows of the Chronically Ill

I’m stuck in a hole and I don’t know how to get out. Rather, I’ve been stuck and I have tried almost everything to get out.

No matter what I do or how hard I try, there is always this deep, dark, unique sadness that comes with life-altering, life-limiting illness.

And it’s always there, regardless of how happy I am in the moment, or how much positivity I attempt to emit or how many people I try to surround myself with.

It’s the sickness that makes you sad.
It’s the sadness that makes you sick.
It’s the never-ending downward spiral and it has one hell of a grip.
It’s sick sad.

Most times it’s just there underneath, lurking like some monster of the sea. Other times it’s the ocean itself; it’s surf overwhelming everything in its path and leaving its exhausted victims to be continually beat unto the shoreline.

I guess the real issue for me, is that no one really seems to be talking much about it…and why would they?

It hurts to talk and think about.

No one wants to have to constantly consider the pain of another human being.

But ignoring the fact that this type of suffering exists isn’t okay either.

Ignorance hurts too. 

So let’s start talking about the deeper and more difficult emotions that come hand in hand with illness.

I know I’m going to.