Be 'trauma informed' as you help others

The writer Alice Walker said, "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." The sad thing about it is that we all have more power than we realize, with everyone we encounter: our children, partners, friends, coworkers, even strangers.

Life at the YWCA is such a microcosm of life in general. We get to experience the joy of childbirth with lots of new parents; the trials of childrearing, from toilet training to empty nesting; the pain of loss or the release from lives well spent and long lived. We walk with friends and clients through the trying times of job loss, illness, injury or weight gain, and through life's celebrations of new degrees, promotions and jobs attained, life goals achieved, and first homes or dream homes.

The life that courses through these historic halls runs the gamut from the most strained to the very comfortable. This creates very differing experiences for those involved — or does it?

Is there any financial position that eases the trauma of losing a loved one, or the fear of seeing your child in danger? Is there any level of education that preempts alcohol, drugs or violence from being a poor stress management choice? Does any lifestyle or background provide a guarantee to sail unscathed through a major unplanned life transition? No.

Nobody eludes trauma. We're all affected one way or another, sooner or later. And on top of the trauma we experience directly, we're affected indirectly, too. That driver who greets us with sign language when we pass, the child who can't stop crying on the airplane, the coworker or family member who snaps or uses substances to cope and the homeless mother of four across town: each affects our lives.

Trauma affects individuals, families and communities by disrupting healthy development, affecting relationships, and contributing to substance abuse, domestic violence, and child abuse. So we all pay the price of untreated trauma via crime, loss of wages, increased assistance, and family stability.

According to researchers Elizabeth K. Hopper, Ellen L. Bassuk and Jeffrey Olivet, "trauma-informed care is an organizational structure and service framework grounded in an understanding of and responsiveness to the impact of trauma, emphasizing physical, psychological, and emotional safety… that helps people rebuild a sense of control and empowerment."

Being "trauma-informed" means recognizing that everyone experiences pain, strain or suffering, and thus needs compassion from those around them. The YWCA is working with our board, staff and community partners to build understanding that the impact of trauma is the first step in being a compassionate and effectively-supportive community.

So the next time someone annoys you by being inattentive, crabby, or overreacting, grow your heart and ask yourself what their day, week, or life could possibly be handing them to create such a state. Suspending any judgement, ask how they're doing, and mean it. Then, really listen.

We each have the power to change the world, one person at a time.

Ann Saris is executive director of YWCA Wausau.