Last week, the big wigs in TV land had their annual jaunt to Cannes for MIPTV. It's an event where the great and good come to discuss changing trends in television and also pitch and try and sell their latest genius TV formats around the world.
Some of the ideas might become the next Deal or No Deal, Pop Idol or Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? and become a global phenomenon. Others, probably won't.
The weirdest idea to come out of MIPTV this year was Dolphins with the Stars. The title pretty much tells you all you need to know. It will be celebs, working with dolphins and then performing tricks together on live TV.
For the first time on your TV screen, we put together the most admired celebrities and the most beloved animals with the aim of offering the TV event of the year: Dolphins With the Stars. Throughout two months, celebrities and dolphins will work together and learn how to do striking performances in the water. Dance, emotion, spectacle… Finally, on TV, talent is more than human.
Spanish and Portugueuse production company La Competencia have the rights currently. Please can someone in the UK do the decent thing and bring it over here. We need to see Todd Carty flapping around with flipper asap.
Another show that has ITV2 with Keith Lemon written all over it is talent show The Shower. The tabloid headlines write themselves - The Wet Factor anyone? - and the format is gloriously barmy and simple.
Singers perform in a shower - in bikinis and shorts, obviously - and phone votes determine whether the heat of the water is warm or freezing cold. The victors get a chance to perform outside the shower. The losers are left with nothing but soaking wet humiliation. Why do we have an image of Joe Swash in some white swim trunks as Keith Lemon looks on pointing?
Other barmy formats that were pitched include Babe Magnet, a dating show that involves a girl repelling and pulling guys she likes and doesn't like with a giant magnet, The Imposter, which features people trying to pretend that they're a family member for a week to fool strangers and the brilliantly titled Rocco to the Rescue, which will include ex-porn star Rocco 'rescuing' couples in need of a, erm, helping hand.
Possibly the best of the lot is Host in the Box. A show that involves a TV presenter being flown away to a desert island and being challenged to graft it out Bear Grylls style. We can think of a few people we'd love to put up for this already.
