Parents don't need to be terrified of the internet

Headlines decrying the death of bullied Irish teens by suicide have opened all our eyes to the risks children can be exposed to in online life.

Understandably, parents feel uncertain about how to reconcile concerns about the internet with a recognition that accessing the web is not only often part of school work but is also an essential skillset.

There are a number of things parents, and indeed teachers and family, can do to minimise a young person's exposure to potentially harmful experiences.

The most important thing is to ensure open lines of communication, so children feel they can tell an adult if anything distressing is happening online.

It is also important that parents do not threaten to withdraw internet access, as it may mean a child will not ask for your advice when they really need it.

Parents should also try to encourage conversations about what sites and apps their children access and who they're connecting with. This dialogue is essential to keeping our kids safe online.

Traditional internet safety messages - drafted in the late 90s - advise internet users not to give out personal information.

For parents, however, it can be difficult to reconcile concerns about the risks of ignorning this safety message, with the largely positive experiences of both children and parents when they tag photos and content on websites and apps, allowing their online friends to access and share the content.

The disconnect between internet safety messaging and the realities of how people interact online can result in parents not engaging in family discussions about maximising the benefits of online interactions while staying safe.

There is a growing recognition that what is needed is a more balanced and proportionate approach to internet safety that will better reflect the realities of how family members manage their online activities.

Re-defining the scope of internet safety education will help to ensure that parents, teachers and all interested parties are empowered to be more confident about discussing with children - not only the possible risks of their online interactions - but also their general well-being, both online and offline.

What is the advice for young people?

One of the topics being explored at the Internet Governance Forum (IGF) 2014, which took place this month in Istanbul, is the need to better address the issue of how children and young people, and the adults responsible for their care, can be better-educated, confident and active participants online.

Youth panels were set up in a number of countries across Europe, including Ireland, and representatives from each of these attended IGF 2014.

During discussions, these young people spoke about their wish for internet education to be a mandatory part of a teacher's education so that educators are better equipped to talk. They also brought up other issues, including:

• They were keen to be educated about behavioural and moral aspects of interpersonal relationships both online and offline. This would include how to identify and manage various types of behaviours, both online and offline.

• How to help people identify goals and boundaries for their behaviours.

• Advice and education about how to identify and manage conflict situations and people's sensitivities.

• Dealing with issues around mental health and well-being that involve online activities such as accessing support sites.

• The young people also spoke about wanting to be sufficiently educated about the privacy debate.

Arguably, this suggets that internet safety education programmes are no longer fit for purpose and need to be updated.

Young people and their parents are active participants in the digital economy and for robust debates around privacy to be confined to tech firms and conferences is a serious shortcoming.

Yes, technology moves very quickly and privacy is a nuanced issue, particularly as we move toward a reliance on connected devices, driverless cars, home smart energy metres, where each person and their device is generating a wealth of personal information.

This is why young people are calling for more education that will enable them, and those adults responsible for their care, to engage in open dialogue about the opportunities and risks associated with the internet.

The days of short snippets of advice about the internet being sufficient are numbered. What is required is a more much holistic, nuanced and less fear-based approach.

The aims of the new programmes of education would be to ensure that, for example, the possibility of encountering bullying online will be proactively addressed in school by specific classes.

Schools, teachers and parents also need more advice and support about how to manage these types of scenarios.

By widening the scope of programmes of education, young people and their parents will become active and informed citizens better able to participate in and shape discussions about the future of the internet and privacy online.

The request from young people to parents is not to be afraid and instead to become engaged in these issues, advocate for better programmes of education and understand that the internet and new technologies can be a force for good, while it is still important to ensure that risks are mitigated. Parents can only be involved in these discussions if they set their fears aside and recognise their important role in shaping the future.

What's required to develop this new approach to the internet and well-being?

In Ireland, the requirement to develop a national policy with respect to technology and well-being will be discussed at an upcoming conference entitled Technology and for Well-being, convened in Dublin by ReachOut.ie com on September 25.

Education is key to empowering confident and informed children, young people, parents, grandparents and professionals such as teachers, policy makers, mental health providers, social workers and internet companies. This will require a collaborative, multidisciplinary approach to ensure that effective programmes of education are developed that will take into account both new and emerging technology innovations and policy debates.

Such programmes of education can take a number of forms and a resource dedicated to parents and their knowledge of both youth mental health and online behaviour, called ReachOutParents, will be launched by Minister Kathleen Lynch at the Technology and for Well-being conference. The conference promises to be a forum where vibrant debate will continue about internet safety and well-being and a constructive action plan is expected to emerge.

Ω Dr Rachel O'Connell is an internet safety expert and founder of GroovyFuture.com.

Ω ReachOut.com, in association with the Irish Independent, is running a Technology for Well-Being International Conference in Croke Park, Dublin, on September 25. 'Bridging the digital disconnect' - Exploring ways in which Ireland is using technology to promote well-being across generations is the second annual conference and will be of interest to service providers, policy makers, health managers, the technology sector, researchers, media, students and interested members of the public. Tickets: €90; students: €65. For more information and to register, visit www.reachout.com/t4wb14.