It was 5:30pm on Friday evening, November 12 and the phone rang. I saw the caller ID and immediately yelled up to Andrew, it’s the agency, “Oh My God”. In my heart I knew. As my hand trembled holding the phone our social worker gave us the most incredible news of our lives. We had been chosen. She asked what we were doing the night before?
The prior evening we had been invited to speak at our parish with other adoptive parents. There were about 50 folks in the audience listening to about 8 adoptive families, one adoptee and one family “in waiting”, Andrew and I . They opened up the room towards the end of the program to questions when someone asked us how we would be chosen. My husband said to the crowd that at that very moment we could get “the call”, and of course the audience chuckled along with us through our nerves.
Little did we know that on that very same night, two incredible people would walk through our agency doors and make the most selfless decision which would forever change our lives.
Days after we got that fateful phone call we met for lunch with the birth parents. It was at that lunch when our daughter’s birth mother reached across from the table and said these words that I will never forget “When I saw your eyes, I could see into your soul and knew you were meant to carry this great responsibility”. Weeks later our baby girl was born.
And you know what, I do feel a sense of responsibility…. of course as a mother to my daughter…and just as much to adoption awareness. Four years ago our daughter’s birth mother encouraged me to continue writing and speaking about adoption. So on such a special day for my family, I will continue sharing with all of you….
12 Pieces of Perception from the Eyes of an Adoptive Mom
1. Birthparents are selfless, period.
2. Its not the 1950s anymore so let’s not tuck adoption under the rug. It’s one of many wonderful ways to build a family.
3. The phrase the mother “gave her up for adoption” is old and antiquated. Don’t keep with the 1950s theme simply use the term “adoption plan” instead. The adoptive parents and birth parents will truly be grateful for that switch.
4. Many people think drugs or alcohol when they think of birth parents. Not the case. Many people think teens which the stats are really late 20s and 30s.
5. Adoption comes without judgement. The old saying until “Until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoe’s…” really applies here.
6. Open adoption comes in all different shapes and sizes, most our stories are not at all like MTV’s 16 and Pregnant.
7. Special needs adoptive children are truly amazing kids, I get to meet these families through my profession and some of the stories I could share with you are simply inspiring.
8. Not all hospitals embrace adoption, this needs to change. We were so blessed to have a wonderful experience however there are stories I have heard that would make you cringe.
9. To the acquaintance who asked told me three years ago “You’re not going to tell your kid to talk about adoption are you? She’ll be like the “fat” kid on the playground at school then”…Thanks for reminding me there will always be ignorance in the world, I can just teach my kid to rise above it.
10. To our friends and family who stood by their phones waiting for our call…and will do it all over again with us soon. Thank you so much for your unending support. Sorry to give you gray hairs, although how exciting is it right?
11. Adoption truly is a special club. We are so lucky to have met friends through this experience whom we can continue to lean on one another when those tough questions come one day.
12. To our daughter’s birth parents for showing us how love comes in many different acts.
Yes, today we celebrate, the day when we got “the call”…and when we realized that adoption is not a coincidence. And our child was always part of the plan.
November is National Adoption Awareness month…share the love.