The Supernanny star took part in a live Facebook video chat with Huffington Post UK Parents.
During the session, she revealed that the biggest problem with parents’ discipline is the ‘application’.
None of us enjoy disciplining our child, but Jo suggests many parents have the wrong approach in encouraging good behaviour.
She told Huffington Post:
“Parents can end up putting in rules to control children and giving consequences and discipline that is unwarranted.
The application of a discipline can be a parent trying to control a child’s behaviour, rather than encouraging the child to be more self-independent and to communicate better.”
She went on to explain:
“There are many times I say to parents: ‘Why did you discipline your child and give them a consequence just because you asked them to get up from the sofa and they didn’t?
It’s got to be about educating them and certainly developing their communication skills rather than always just telling them off.”
So hold the unnecessary discipline, according to Jo, and communication is key.
We like this book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk. See more details here at Amazon.
Of course, parenting doesn’t come with a manual – we wish – and most of us learn as we go. But if you need any tips and advice, these pointers may help.
Set good examples: children take their cue from you, so if they witness kind, respectful and gentle relationships at home, they’re more likely to adapt these values themselves.
Keep your expectations in check: your child is continuously learning about the world, so they’re guaranteed to do things you don’t like, or that are unsafe, before they realise the real difference between right and wrong.
Accepting there will be a few setbacks along the way will make things much easier.
Understand your child’s personality: every child is different and may need different levels of guidance/discipline to suit their personality.
For example, an energetic, headstrong child is likely to require a completely different approach to a shy, timid child.
Think about the needs behind the behaviour: for example, it they’re jumping on the settee, do they need to burn off some energy, or are they needing your attention because you’ve been on the phone and they’re bored.
Get to the root of the cause: has there been a recent change in the family? Perhaps a new sibling has arrived or you’ve moved house?
These types of change can all have an impact on your child’s behaviour, and recognising them will equip you with plenty of strategies to help your child through any difficult phases.
Help your child to express their feelings: encouraging communication between all members of your family will help your child learn to express/share their feelings.
This is useful for older children and teenagers, who tend to bottle their feelings up. Acknowledging angry feelings can also help to dissolve them before they turn into a proper tantrum.
Use challenges to overcome tricky behaviour: If your toddler hates getting dressed, approach the scenario positively by saying: ‘I bet you can’t get dressed in under three minutes’.
Likewise, if they have a hatred of cleaning teeth, challenge them to a ‘teeth cleaning race’ and whoever wins (obviously your toddler!) gets a sticker to put on their reward chart.
Do you think there is a wrong or right way to discipline a child? What works with your children?
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