“Welcome to the world, Alex. Shh “¦ shh “¦ shh “¦ don”t cry. You”re safe here. With me.” Under the fluorescent lights of the hospital room, she held the baby to her chest. “You”re confused, overwhelmed, I understand. I will always be with you. My baby.”
Under the dimmed light of the nursery, she kissed her baby on the forehead.
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“Shh “¦ shh “¦ shh “¦ sleep “¦ sleep. Goodnight my sweet, goodnight, sleep tight my sweet, sleep tight.”
Under a mural of the morning sky painted on the ceiling of Alex”s childhood bedroom, she woke her baby up.
“Alex, hey baby, wake up.” Her voice was gentle.
“Is it today, mom?” Alex asked, eyes still caked with sleep.
“Good morning baby. Yes it is. Out of bed. Breakfast is ready, I laid out your clothes. Up and at it. I”ll meet you downstairs. I love you,” She added as she left the room.
“Love you too mommy!”
As Alex headed out the door, she went through the checklist – “Got your backpack?” Yes, Alex replied. “Water bottle?” Check, Alex said. “Cell phone?” Mmhmm, Alex nodded. “Jacket?” Yes, yes, yes.
“I”m gonna learn so much mommy, “multiplications,” plus and minuses, reading, writing, science, animals, I can”t wait to meet all my new best friends.”
“Yes you will, one day at time sweetie. You are going to be my little genius. My little go getter. Do you have everything?”
Yes, Alex said. Yes, yes, yes.
Under the curved felted hood of the car, she turned the keys in the ignition and turned to her baby in the back seat.
“Seat Belt,” she said.
“Mom, I”m scared.” Alex admitted.
“Why?” She asked with a small, encouraging smile on her face.
“What if they don”t like me? What if I”m bad at it?” Alex”s forehead crinkled with concern.
“They will like you. They”re going to be your friends, what”s not to like?” She asked, her tone light.
“I don”t know?” Alex frowned.
“Then why are you worried?” The car engine sputtered.
“Can you come with me?” Alex”s voice was fraught with worry.
“No, but I”ll be right here at three o”clock.” She backed out of the drive way.
“I don”t want you to go.”
“You can do it baby. You”re going to have so much fun. Everyone is so excited to meet you. I”ll be here at the end of the day. I”ll be here.”
Under the white, stucco”d ceiling of Alex”s renovated room, she woke her baby up.
“Alex, up.” Her voice was not stern, but not gentle either.
“Two more minutes,” Alex groaned.
“Tw0 more minutes, tw0 minutes ago! Up or you won”t get breakfast.”
“Uhhhhghhhh.”
“Yeah, yeah. Get dressed. You can”t be late or I”ll be late. I love you, there are pancakes at the table. Downstairs in 15 minutes.”
Under the open skies of August, as Alex sat in the driver”s seat of the car with one hand on the wheel, she said good-bye to her baby.
As Alex headed out the door, she went through the checklist – “Books?” Yes, Alex said. “Sheets and pillows?” Mmmhmm, Alex responded. “Toiletries and toothbrush?” Yes ma”am. “Tooth brush?” Oh, no. “Grab that … backpack?” Check. “Medication?” Yes, yes, yes.
“You make me proud baby,” She said. “Don”t party too much. And be safe please.”
Alex nodded. “Don”t worry Mom, I will.””I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom. Call you later.”
Under the fluorescent lights of the hospital room, she held her baby”s hand.
“Hey Mom. How you feeling?” Alex leaned over her bed.
“I”ve been better,” she said.
“The doctors say you”ve fought hard. That you”re the most resilient patient they”ve ever had. And that you even had the will to make sure the staff was taking care of themselves. You know what I told him? That”s my mom. No one fights harder than she does. No one can take better care than she can. Because she”s my mom and she”s a warrior. My maternal warrior,” Alex said.
“I”m going to miss you mom. I don”t know what to do when you”re gone.”
She squeezed her baby”s hand.
“Baby. Yes, you do. Look at your hands. They are fully grown. Look at them against mine. They are bigger. They”re unique, and they come from me. You are a warrior too. You”re my big warrior. There is nothing that you can”t do or fight for. You”re safe here and even when I”m gone I will be here to take care of you. My sweet, sweet baby. Goodnight, my sweet, goodnight.”
Kevin Douglas Neighbors can be reached at [email protected]