HELP! My boss is driving me mad...
Recently I had the pleasure of running a Leadership development program for group of motivated and experienced individuals that are under going a significant change in the organisation. As part of the course we explored great leaders and not so great leaders with some real life personal examples. One person, we shall call him Brian, had recently returned after a long spell off work with stress. In conversation with Brian during the lunch break I was curious to find out more about his situation. Throughout the morning he had been a ‘perfect participant’ with high quality contributions, well thought out opinions and a great attitude.
In his previous role he was engaged, committed and diligent in his approach to his work, he also got great feedback from colleagues and co-workers. His move to another area of the business, and new manager, for him, was the beginning of the end. He described his manager as the most disconnected person he’d ever met, clueless, and totally ineffective. In most cases, the obvious thing to do is to raise it as an issue with his managers, manager. Unfortunately for Brian, his manager’s manager was of a similar ilk- manipulative, saying all the right things, but not actually committing to anything. The reasons behind the stress Brian was experiencing was because the tasks and goals were simply unachievable by one person in the time frame.
As each day passed, the back log of work increased- ultimately affecting the customer experience. Brian was working late into the evening regularly, as well as weekends, and his quality of life began to suffer. Despite pointing out these issues to his manager, and other senior directors nothing changed. If anything, he was marked as a troublemaker. It all came to a head one day- when Brian’s father was admitted to hospital, and unexpectedly on the same day, so was his wife. He received a call from his manager, whilst at the hospital, his manager was aware of the situation, but carried on asking him about the status of some of Brian’s work and quizzing him on what had been done to date etc.
I have to admit, I was shocked. Brian went on to tell me what he had observed whilst working alongside this manager. Here are just a few examples- absolutely no output on some days, procrastination to the extreme, an inability to receive or give feedback and a total lack of awareness. On one day Brian noticed his manager making ‘sausages’ with some blue-tack- to which his manager replied ‘it helps me deal with stress’. Three hours later he was still rolling sausages staring blankly at the desk.
In addition to this, Brian's father was recently admitted to hospital again- perhaps his last journey as he was suffering from dementia. Brian was preparing for the worst, to say goodbye. His manager then proceeded to describe in detail the death of his parents, then the death of his in-laws. Unbelievable. It doesn't end there- but I think you get the picture. Brian described him as, I quote, ' the single most incompetent, unprofessional, useless and tragic person I have ever has the misfortune to meet or work with.'
It never fails to amaze me that such behaviours and incompetence are prevalent still in organisations. My advice to Brian was to seriously consider looking for other opportunities either in or outside the organisation and to pursue the matter vigorously with the HR department. So, for you Leaders and Managers looking to inspire, engage and create a motivational environment for your team take this as a great example of what NOT to do! Parting question, if you were Brian what specifc actions would you take? I’ll be sure to pass your comments on to him.
Mike is the Founder and Managing Director of Makingthelink.co.uk. He has delivered training, team events and Keynote speeches to over 40,000 people on topics such as Emotional intelligence, Leadership and Business Improvement. His people-orientated approach has enabled Mike to work with the most demanding and prestigious clients internationally and across a number of sectors. Driven to help Leaders, Managers and Business Owners be more successful Mike has joined forces with two colleagues to design and deliver a ground breaking new short course www.transformingtomorrowsleaders.com
Total Freedom: Solutions for Life
9yMike, I have a sneaky feeling you already know the answer. but the simple truth is no one can you you mad! We drive ourselves mad when we stay locked in a false sense of identity. He could choose to use the experience to wake up! And if that really happened he would be eternally grateful that he finally discovered where real power is! All powerful not weak, no enemies and cannot suffer loss.
Preventing burnout | Building resilience
9yI agree Mike and Paul, the managers behaviour is odd, a concern and could be a sign of stress that requires attention or it could be a sign of management culture since his managers manager took a similar approach. Either way if Brian does not raise a concern/greivance about his manager he may end of up continuing this behaviour with Brian and other employees. That said I'm sure no one would be surprised if Brian didn't have enough energy for this kind of challenge given his recent losses. My condolences go out to Brian and his family.
Experienced L&D Facilitator
9yPaul- words of wisdom! I have been wondering the same. What experiences and situation has the 'manager' had that have led to these behaviours? And what would be best for him in the future? In my heart I believe people can and do change, given the right circumstances and encouragement. Thanks for sharing your view- I'm sure Brian will find it helpful to understand and forgive.
Care, education, training, consultancy
9yI'm just wondering what is going on for the 'manager', How are things for him as a human being? (let's remember that behind the label is another being...) what does h (or she) feel about the organisation that he is a manager for? what is his experience of his day to day working reality? what pressures is he under? does he feel that Brian recognises his needs and realities? etc, etc. I can definitely empathise for how Brian is feeling and the impact this is having for him - been there, felt like that. At the same time I also have come to recognise that often I can be part of the issue and that I can either contribute to it growing; or with careful reflection and perspective taking, be a part of empowering towards a positive resolution that respects the needs of all.involved
Preventing burnout | Building resilience
9yHeart felt story and represents problems with bullying style mangement and leadeship all too often heard across sectors in including witin the Social Care field where some might expect there to be more caring management styles. But unfortunately management often lack skills and experience with many forced to act up in a contantly changing and high staf turnover environment. More connect, engaged and inspiring leadeship is required. I would leave if I was Brian, or consider greivance unless there are better opprtunities with better managers and leadership skills internally.