'You're a walking disease, mate': HIV-positive men read out the hurtful messages they've been sent on dating app Grindr

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Dating apps rarely encourage deep and meaningful communication but they are a minefield for people living with HIV as a series of real messages sent to gay men on Grindr reveals.

The hurtful texts have been read out by HIV-positive men to highlight stigma, misunderstanding and ignorance around the virus.

The messages, which include 'You're a walking disease, mate' and 'Sluts like you deserve it,' were sent to Grindr users and the Gay Men's Health Charity (GMFA) asked a group of HIV-positive models to read them out and react.

HIV-positive men react to the unkind messages, such as above, that have been sent to real men on Grindr

The responses to the mean messages, which varied from abusive to absurd, were incredibly honest, educational and surprisingly funny.

There was also a clear warning that messages like this add 'yet another brick to the viral closet'.

The film begins with 'Are you clean?' a question often posed on gay dating apps that is a direct allusion to HIV. 

The models, including Thomas, 43, reply. 'I wash,' he says. While Rhualdri, 26, recounts his grooming methods: 'I shampoo, I condition, I exfoliate, I moisturise...'

The nastier messages are batted away with a mixture of humour and distress. 

Rhualdri responds to 'You're a walking disease mate' by saying 'I mince more than walk.' While Sean, 34, simply sticks up his middle finger.

Some of the participants appear disbelieving at what the messages say. For others it is all too predictable

Greg, 35, is worried stigmatisation will stop people from disclosing that they have HIV. 'Next time someone challenges them about their status they might deny it. They might lie'

The message 'Nah! I don't want HIV from your blood' was greeted with a raised eyebrow from one guy who said: 'Unless you're a vampire we're not going to be doing that.'

Other messages include 'You deserve to have it. Teaches you to stop being a slut' and 'People who have sex with you may need to know but wearing it as a badge is ugly.'

Thomas, 43, reacts to the remark 'I wouldn't want anything to do with an ugly pile of HIV like you,' with a shake of the head and the words: 'That's just a hurtful message and makes you look ugly.'

Greg, 35, issued the stark warning that attitudes like this will simply perpetuate stigmatisation leading to greater risk as people will be less likely to disclose HIV.

'Each time someone sends a message like this to an HIV guy it adds a brick to the viral closet. Next time someone challenges them about their status they might deny it. They might lie. And things happen.'

Tom agrees: 'It forces some activity underground because it breeds stigma and it breeds shame.'

The messages, including the above, range from the abusive to the absurd

Sadiq said revealing he was HIV-positive was like coming out for a second time

Greg also made the observation that 'dating an HIV-positive undetectable guy is the best way to make sure you stay negative' because you'd be so careful.

A major study published last year found that HIV-positive people, both gay and straight, who are on antiretroviral therapy have just a 1-4 per cent chance of passing the virus onto a partner during unprotected sex.

'The medical treatment for HIV has had a dramatic impact on the health and life expectancy of those of us who are living with HIV. Unfortunately, the progress we've made in tackling the stigma associated with an HIV-positive diagnosis has not been as fast,' GMFA CEO Matthew Hodson said.

'The all too visible stigmatisation of people living with HIV discourages people from testing, or talking honestly about HIV, their risk and their testing history. In a very real sense, stigma helps to perpetuate HIV.'

It is striking how little anger there is at the messages being read. Some of the participants appear to expect such comments

Other hurtful messages include “You deserve to have it. Teaches you to stop being a slut” and “People who have sex with you may need to know but wearing it as a badge is ugly.”

Sadiq, 25, revealed that he was HIV-positive on Facebook last year in a bid to 'take control back over my own diagnosis'.

He described it as a 'second coming out' and that he has subsequently received a 'really mixed' response from men on dating apps like Grindr.

'There's always some kind of reaction,' Sadiq told Buzzfeed. 'But the main one I've seen is people blocking you, which makes you mad because you want to find them and educate them.'

GMFA is using promoting video with the hashtag #StopHIVStigma as part of a World Aids Day campaign.