Women, Spirit & Money: 7 Spirited Ways to Defeat the Thoughts of Failure Dancing In Your Head

We offer empathy and support. What we ought to offer is a swift kick in the pantaloons. Here’s what to say when you can’t take an amazing woman’s woeful conversation about money one more time. The phone rings. It’s a friend, a client, your sister-in-law, and the story is always the same.

“The bills are piling up, and I just can’t face them.”

“I don’t know where the money is coming from.”

“I can’t afford what I need, but I don’t know what to do differently.”

As spirit-led women whose vocation is part of their path and higher purpose, we often hear these words – and the underlying fears that are part of the package. We know what that fear feels like; when we stretch in our business, it’s uncomfortable. The old demons we thought we’d exorcised around our own value and worth show up again in a different form. We hear their echoes in the female voice on the other end of the line.

We want to offer empathy. We want to offer support. We need to offer a swift kick in the pantaloons. So in perfect love and perfect trust, I’m going to share the exact things I said to a female, spirit-led colleague when she was moaning pitifully about bill collectors, a niche that didn’t work out, and her terrible plight. I didn’t empathize. I didn’t offer to do it for her. I didn’t extend a lot of sympathy. Here are the 7 action steps I offered instead.

1. “Ignore all of that.”

This reference is to bill collectors, threatening letters, and harassing phone calls. If you’re going to dig out from under a financial mess, then being able to hear the voice inside your own head is a key strategy. Instead, put everything in one folder as it comes in: snail mail, email, and phone messages left on voice mail. Make a date to take it out and look at it. Set priorities. Come up with a plan. Take back control. Call the companies and tell them the action you have decided to take. Don’t let them push you around, and feel free to push back. Compartmentalize: spend about one hour, weekly, on this task. No more, no less.

2. “Make an offer to provide a service people need and want enough that they’ll pay for it.”

Now, make a list of 50 people you know, and start calling. You don’t need a website, a landing page, or an email system. Let your fingers do the walking. Ask each person how they’re doing. Listen. Offer to help. Share the price when they ask. Keep going until you get the number of “yes” answers you need to see a difference. Offer to repeat the service again.

3. “Track everything you receive.”

Write down: kind words, client leads, pennies found on the sidewalk – any and all income. Everything positive that comes your way is a sign that you’re on the right path. Ask people if they’d like to have a special conversation to focus on their problems. Get to work. Say yes to the receipt of money in return.

4. “Write down the gratitudes; those are priceless.”

Focus on the wonderful indicators, the increases in money, and your gratitude. Review the gratitudes nightly to be reminded how loved you are. Read them repeatedly, randomly. Don’t place any attention on your financial outgo until the scheduled time, and affirm. You’ll see a turnaround.

5. “Make weekly bill paying a ritual of affirmation, not a lifestyle built on deficit.”

All income is a return on the investment of your life force energy. When writing those checks of any amount, including paying one’s self, affirm the feeling of moving forward. By the way, the amount is less important than the action. The movement of $1.00 and $1,000.00 has the same effect in terms of flow, but that’s another conversation for another time.

6. “Change up your offer.”

If your chosen offer isn’t working, and you’ve chosen a low return niche, then your entry point for your audience is off point. Fill in the blanks below to try, try again with an eye to a better outcome:

“What I am looking for is a ____________ (type of person) in a _____________ (specific situation) who needs ____________ badly enough that they are willing to pay me to ____________ (do something) to provide the solution they need.”

On the other hand, if you’re really committed to particular work for a specific niche, then consider education, training, or the certification you need to get hired to do the job you’re meant to do.

7. “Make a quick decision and take an action.”

My mentor, Elizabeth Purvis, known as the ‘Marketing Goddess,’ often says, “Money loves fast action.” Making a quick decision working from your first impulse at the level of top of mind thinking has merit when you need to move forward fast. So go with fast action, top of mind, the shortest and simplest path to the money. The little stuff pays the bills. Looking for the ‘one shot wonder’ doesn’t. When windfalls come, treat them as acceleration income, not as part of your baseline expectations.

We’re not doing ourselves or others any favors when we continue to do the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different outcome. Honestly, I’ve been there, done that, and couldn’t afford the t-shirt. After lots of anger and frustration, I broke out of that reality and created a new one. The money challenged women in your life can also replace self-pity with pro-activity.

I invite you to clip this article and stick it by the phone or on the refrigerator or in your top desk drawer. When the call comes, feel free to pull this piece out and share whatever you think has value and relevance at the time. As women, we’re all in this money inequity situation together. We can get out of it in the same way.

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Sherri L. McLendon, M.A., is a recognized feminine business leader, marketing public relations practitioner and content strategist with Professional Moneta International, www.professionalmoneta.com.