Texas A&M to wear Houston Oilers tribute uniforms in response to Arkansas’ Cowboys look

By now, you have seen this:

Jazz hands!

Two footballs!

And it’s all for Double J! It’s about time Jerry Jones got some attention. What better way to honor a plastic billionaire than by wearing Walmart replica shammy Cowboys jerseys in Arkie red. Should have accessorized with a Walmart vest and some faux Jimmy Johnson hair. Hell, take another loan from the Teamsters to pay for it.

And why the hell not? The suits are trying to make an NFL production out of a college game to make a nickle. Go whole hog (heh heh). The game is being played in a theme park McMansion paid for by dopey taxpayers to the financial gain of a man who drinks Johnny Walker Blue by the drum on ice out of Styrofoam cups.

WOOOOOOOO DOUBLE J FOR THE WIN.

Folks, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. If there is anyone who likes attention as much as Jerry Jones it’s Aggies. When the A&M brass heard about the Razorback and Cowboy having sex and making the uniform baby seen above, well, something had to be done. ENTER THE TEXAS A&M HOUSTON OILERS:

The synergy of the Aggies and Oilers just makes sense. Both made their fortunes by being born on dirt that had oil under the surface. Both are renowned for historic collapses both in games and seasons.

Aren’t powder blue and maroon handsome together? It’s like a rental Ford Taurus from 1987.

The tributes won’t stop there. Paying homage to Bum Phillips (A&M assistant in 1958!), Coach Sumlin is going with the Houston Oilman Tuxedo:

Wonder if Longhorn Earl Campbell has a couple yards left in him. Gig ‘em, Ag Oilers.