Waynesboro receives lesson on suicide prevention

WAYNESBORO - If children and teens aren't receiving daily support from parents, one expert warns they could look for it elsewhere in not-so healthy ways.

Such as the Internet.

Questions of, "Can I trust you?" and "Do you care about me?" are the two questions children and teens need their parents to answer on a daily basis in order to feel their full support, said Jeff Yaldena, a certified suicide prevention trainer during talks with Waynesboro students and parents.

Yalden gave three presentations in the Waynesboro school district about suicide prevention on Wednesday.

In the evening presentation directed toward parents, he said he believes that if teens can have those questions answered daily by parents, then that is a giant step toward giving teens reassurance that they have someone present in their life who can and will be there for them if and when they need it. If not, that’s when teens are most likely to develop what Yalden refers to as “fatherneed," a term describing when teens turn to technology to receive the praise and adulation from their peers through social media that they seek from parents or guardians.

“I like doing something when I have a part in making the world a better place,” Yalden said.

No start time changes for Waynesboro schools

Yalden has been doing public speaking for 23 years, dating back to his days in the Marine Corps. He started as a spokesperson for fellow Marines and when he got out, he spent time a teacher and coach. He volunteers to speak to students and now he is an award-winning motivational speaker for teens.

Yalden has a theory on suicide that he shared with parents during his presentation. He presented a Venn diagram with "Thwarted Belongingness," "Perceived Burdensomeness," and “Desire for Suicide."

Thwarted Belongingness  represents someone's belief that they do not have meaningful relationships in their life.

Perceived Burdensomeness represents someone's belief that they do not make notable contributions to the world and view themselves as a liability.

“Desire for Suicide,” or the capability for suicide, represents a habituation of physiological pain and fearsome experiences due to repeated exposure to painful and/or provocative events. When those three factors overlap, the chances of suicide or a lethal suicide attempt increase.

To avoid the above factors, Yalden has what he calls six pillars of success: breathing deeply each morning for a few minutes, just experiencing what is around them; meditating; indulging in prayer; reading and keeping up with the news; journaling or coloring as a way to distress; and exercising. Partaking in these activities daily will improve people’s minds and bodies, and decrease the likelihood of someone believing they don’t have someone in their life or that they are a burden to the world.

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What can parents do to be proactive rather than reactive? Yalden advised parents to become involved in their children’s lives, engage with them, ask questions and get to know them and be there for both venting and to offer opinion and validate what they are feeling. One other factor that Yalden emphasized to parents was to monitor teens' social media use and know who their children are communicating with, what they are discussing, and most of all, doing the right thing for their children, whether they like it or not.

“Parents know best,” Yalden said

Retired district psychologist Marilyn Zak was singing Yalden’s praises after his presentation. Zak started a suicide prevention program at Waynesboro six years ago, called "Signs Of Suicide." Aimed at eighth and tenth-graders, SOS presents the signs of suicide in students such as bad grades, frequent absences, quitting sports or activities, and withdrawing from friends.

“He makes himself very approachable,” Zak said, adding that Yalden believes in and listens to what students have to say.

Current district psychologists Nicole Repp and Erica Vinson-Ondecko were in agreement that Yalden's ability to tell stories into which critical suicide lessons were interwoven, was how Yalden was able to retain students' attention during the lecture.

"He gave kids permission to speak and share how they feel," Vinson-Ondecko said.

Yalden said that after his morning speech at the high school, between 50 and 60 students came down to chat with him one-on-one.

“I feel good that a lot of the kids opened up and wanted to chat,” Yalden said.

David Barr, 717-262-4752