—
By Sammy Nickalls for YourTango
For me, the sexiest thing a man can have is a good head on his shoulders. You don’t need to woo me with rock-hard biceps or a strong core … you just need to be able to talk to me, baby.
In other words: Intelligence wins over any looks you can throw at me. I get totally weak in the knees over a man who is able to keep a great conversation with me, keep me interested, help me learn. I find a smart man to be the sexiest of all.
Here are ten sexy-smart things that men do that totally make us swoon, Every. Single. Time.
1. Have a deep, passionate interest in something.
I don’t care whether this interest is even something that I share. I don’t give a hoot about cars but my boyfriend is crazy about them, and he stares at cars in the street like many men do with hot women. And I totally love it. I love that he has a deep passion and interest for something and that he rattles off car facts not to impress anyone, but because he’s genuinely interested.
2. Read of your own accord!
If a man has a voracious appetite for books, it’s an immediate turn-on. It means that he wants to get lost in a good story, or learn something. He wants to feed his brain. And that kind of investment is better than any time in the gym.
3. Use a rich (but not pretentious) vocabulary.
Maybe it’s because I’m a writer, but if a man uses the perfect word in the perfect context, I’m immediately weak in the knees. But it has to be genuine: if you’re throwing around big, pretentious words just to make people think you’re smart, we can tell — and the effect is the opposite.
4. Have an opinion on worldly issues.
I don’t mean that you must have a defined stance on every single war and foreign relations issue in the entire world, but knowing what’s going on beyond your city reflects a concern for and genuine interest about lives outside of your own.
5. Know what your dreams are … and chase after them.
I once dated a guy who wanted to act. And he was incredibly talented! But he never made any real steps towards realizing it and he ended up in some humdrum job he totally hates. Have dreams, no matter how big, and go after them — that determination gets us going more than you can imagine.
6. Talk to me for hours about any topic under the sun.
Meeting a hot guy is great but when he only knows about lifting or football and can’t keep up a conversation about pretty much anything else, I’m going to get bored real quick. Being able to talk about anything — and also, in the same vein, not being afraid to say, “I don’t know — tell me what you know about that” — is intensely attractive.
7. Have not only booksmart intelligence, but emotional intelligence.
Intelligence is great, but you need to be able to get in touch with your emotions. You need to know that as a human, you will feel emotions that you don’t understand, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re correct — and you need to be willing to explore those emotions. A man with emotional intelligence is a man who is emotionally available.
8. Have your sh*t together.
Life is confusing and tricky, but if you have the basics together: you do your taxes, you’ve got a car that functions, it shows self-reliance and maturity.
9. Have personal taste.
Whether this is in music, wine, or something else entirely, having personal taste shows you don’t just blindly follow what other people follow. A developed palette shows interest, passion, and autonomy.
10. Teach me something new every day —>without even meaning to.
I’m a reader and a writer. I’m hungry for more knowledge, constantly. I want you to be able to open my eyes even further, to teach me something new, just because that’s who you are.
If you’ve got these things under your belt, you’ve got me, hook, line, and sinker.
—
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
..3 Things to Remember When Falling In Love | Compliments Men Would Love to Hear More Often | ..7 Things Men Want In a Relationship | Why You Need to Date Someone Who Scares You |
—
______
This article originally appeared on Your Tango. For more like this from Your Tango, try:
—
What Now? Participate. Take Action. Join The Good Men Project Community.
The $50 Platinum Level is an ALL-ACCESS PASS—join as many groups and classes as you want for the entire year. The $25 Gold Level gives you access to any ONE Social Interest Group and ONE Class–and other benefits listed below the form. Or…for $12, join as a Bronze Member and support our mission. All members see the site AD-FREE!
It doesn’t matter what you have or what you do, it just matters what the other person wants…. beyond that its just smoke and mirrors until it all falls apart.
“you’ve got a car that functions”…or how about I bike everywhere instead and develop legs of steel and reduce my carbon footprint at the same time. I find that pretty sexy.
Why do authors of these types of articles think it’s okay to speak for everyone? No. No swooning every single time. No. Just no. Maybe yes for the author but no, not for “us.” GMP,.stop posting articles that try to force the author’s opinion, needs, wants and ideals on the reader. There are too many people that are easily lead and it will never end well when people follow and aspire to what someone else says they should be feeling, doing, etc. I really love GMP but sometimes find myself shaking my head at the choices of articles published.
I guess this is just an opinion of one intelligent woman. The fact is the hot girls out there are not that smart and more attracted to material and what’s popular in today’s culture. But good to know though.
Well everyone is right everyone is perfect just stick to yourself arousagand….there is always a dusky dawn behind a shining day. Keep up guys be macho be a geek be a idiot or be whoever u are. Just be unique in your own ways n terms that matters.
The list mostly about communication skills and intelectual edges. But isn’t everyone is smart and skillful in theirown way eventhough they are not vocabulary rich or a great communicator? You can’t judge someone is less smart than the others simply because he knows sports morethan he knows novels. And also tbh I find humble guy is sexier than Mr.knowitall.Phd. Being friendly to a waiter or any stranger is hotter than sticking his nose to novels. Sincerity and loyalty are more appealing than those 10 on the list combined. Those are the qualities men tend to overlook and women underestimate. But… Read more »
Hey writer, it’s voracious you wanted to say not veracious. And stop being phony plz.
Money beats all these traits plus six packs.
Not when you’re 12 it doesn’t.
Unfortunately when I did most of them… Talking about books, doing your stuff in your own, staring at cars… I got my girls bored… I guess i am surrounded by a wrong bunch.
I wish my crush shared same thoughts as you… Then I would have had a real chance of dating her… Never mind.. Your boyfriend is lucky.. Wish you both a happy life…
Are you high?
Girls nd their needs..
Great sages of Himalayas have gave up trying to know what women really wants..
Then obviously itz not our field to work on, lol
Who is this writer? I want to marry her as she finds these things really sexy
Read the article, made a lot of sense!
Read the comments, realized why do people say that Humans are actually getting degraded!
I haven’t got a good physique but yes I’m passionate about what I’m doing and yes with my experience I can surely say, what you people just read in the blog/article is not a biased or just a personal thought, it is much beyond that. Let’s open the narrow passage of our thoughts!
Is this what normal girls think or just a geeky nerdy ‘writer’ like you?
I am 42 & smokin’ hot. I have a PhD, a good job, and I own my own home. I’m wicked funny, and very kind. That’s what I’m bringing.
I have six packs to Add to this all…. 🙂
The one I caught was “even/even” in the last item. “Even without even meaning to.” That said, every single one of these turns me on. All of then together would blow. my. mind.
Sammy I think I have most of the things you have mentioned and I am single. 🙂
eeeeegh, some guys are doing the things you mentioned because they are real intellectuals and they don’t give a fuck what women think about them. how about that ?
How about just a conversation with no expectations! Any members of the fairer sex interested?
What will you be offering when you meet this man?
I just want to add, that as a woman, a fair # of points on this list are the difference between no dates and a first date, or a few dates and a real relationship, regardless of looks; for me that is. #1, 5, 7 are musts for me, #4 is intimidating, #6 could steal my heart in a night and #10 is my absolute favourite. But all in all, I like how Greg ended it ^ 🙂
I hate to say that I agree with the comments that i have seen but I do. These are things that most girls in our society do not really go for in a male counterpart. With that said, thinking deeper into the issue, if you are trying to attract girls, that is the problem! Real women really do want a man who has most of these traits if not all of them. The problem I am seeing these days is that girls kind of out number real women. It is a shame but sometimes in this life you just have… Read more »
Nick’s right. These are the 10 things that turn the author on! Really? “Way sexier than a six pack”? Does that mean all those women packing in to see the ‘Male Review’ are there for what? To see who has the biggest…Brains?
And yet doubtless rule 0 needs to be “be confident” in order to be bringing these sorts of conversations to the author: I get totally weak in the knees over a man who is able to keep a great conversation with me, keep me interested, help me learn. So this still isn’t really that different. I was most of these things for most of my life, but they sure didn’t help me get dates. I will readily admit I didn’t have my shit together, but then nor did most of the girls around me. I wonder how willing people like… Read more »
I was cripplingly shy when I was younger. No dates no girls. It wasn’t til my early twenties when I started to make some progress with my confidence especially with women. I’ve since worked so hard to overcome my fears and self doubt, and through that gain confidence. We can spend our time trying to sharpen things like intellect or have stuff like the above women can want,, and then tell ourselves we’re great but not actually have the guts to show that self to anyone. So you’re right, in the end if we don’t believe in ourselves and we… Read more »
Amen brother!
‘Voracious’…since the topic is about intelligence.
I was hoping I wouldn’t be the only person who caught that. Not an error I would expect from someone claiming to be a reader and a writer.
That’s the first thing that bothered me 😀