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The Twilight Saga #1-1.5

Twilight / Life and Death

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WHEN ISABELLA SWAN MOVES TO THE gloomy town of Forks and meets the mysterious, alluring Edward Cullen, her life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. With his porcelain skin, golden eyes, mesmerizing voice, and supernatural gifts, Edward is both irresistible and enigmatic.

WHAT BELLA DOESN'T REALIZE IS THE CLOSER she gets to him, the more she is putting herself and those around her at risk. And, it might be too late to turn back...

DEEPLY SEDUCTIVE AND EXTRAORDINARILY suspenseful, Twilight has enraptured millions and become a modern classic, redefining genres within young adult literature and inspiring a phenomenon that has had readers yearning for more.

This special tenth anniversary dual edition includes a foreword by the author as well as a complete reimagining of the original novel. Turn this book over to read Life and Death.

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WHEN BEAUFORT SWAN MOVES TO THE gloomy town of Forks and meets the mysterious, alluring Edythe Cullen, his life takes a thrilling and terrifying turn. With her porcelain skin, golden eyes, mesmerizing voice, and supernatural gifts, Edythe is both irresistible and enigmatic.

WHAT BEAU DOESN'T REALIZE IS THE closer he gets to her, the more he is putting himself and those around him at risk. And, it might be too late to turn back…

IN CELEBRATION OF THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY of Twilight, Stephenie Meyer has crafted Life and Death, a bold and compelling reimagining of the iconic love story that will surprise and enthrall readers. This special dual edition includes a foreword by the author as well as the complete original novel. Turn this book over to read Twilight.

738 pages, Hardcover

First published October 6, 2015

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About the author

Stephenie Meyer

99 books75.4k followers
Stephenie Meyer is the author of the bestselling Twilight series, The Host, and The Chemist. Twilight was one of 2005's most talked about novels and within weeks of its release the book debuted at #5 on The New York Times bestseller list. Among its many accolades, Twilight was named an "ALA Top Ten Books for Young Adults," an Amazon.com "Best Book of the Decade So Far," and a Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year.

Meyer graduated from Brigham Young University with a degree in English Literature. She lives in Arizona with her husband and three sons.

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5 stars
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 5,484 reviews
Profile Image for Steph Sinclair.
461 reviews11.3k followers
March 13, 2017
No stars.

Disclaimer: I read to about 65%. Skim read to about 90% and read to the end. Also, this review will contain spoilers for the alternate ending that are not in spoiler tags.

Years ago, when Twilight was in its prime, someone told me that Breaking Dawn was never supposed to happen. That it was the book where Stephenie Meyer was given free reign to do whatever she wanted because the series was so popular, everyone would buy it regardless of quality, and rake in big dough-cheese for her and her publishers. I don't really know how true that assumption is, but dammit if isn't true for Life and Death.

Take me for example: I own all of the Twilight books, have read Twilight (just the first book) a total of 4 times, 5 if you include this (and I do), written about some of the good that came of the series (I'm not always a fire-breathing bitch queen), made fun of it, enjoyed parts of it, loathed chucks of it and everything else in between. I also attempted to re-read the series back in 2012 for this little thing I started called Project: HindSight, and had so much fun reviewing Midnight Sun (I really wish she'd finish that), but by the time I got to New Moon (the book I dislike the most), I just couldn't continue on and abandoned the project.

Over the past few years, I've settled on generally disliking everything Twilight stands for while holding onto a morbid fascination and, begrudgingly, bestowing some sort of respect for a series that put YA literature on the map.

So when I heard of Life and Death, literally the day it released, I knew I'd buy it. No questions asked. I was hoping many of the issues I had with Twilight would be corrected with this version. It had so much potential to be great! I never expected there to be huge drastic changes to the story -- I did expect it to be pretty much the same as Twilight, so believe me when I say that was the least of its problems.

I won't bother reviewing this book, because it's essentially the same as Twilight and I've already written a review for that. Just swap around the pronouns in your head as you read it.

In the forward, Stephenie Meyer opens with this:
"But I’ve always maintained that it would have made no difference if the human were male and the vampire female— it’s still the same story. Gender and species aside, Twilight has always been a story about the magic and obsession and frenzy of first love."

I don't think she was very successful. There were times when I wondered what Meyer was truly trying to accomplish here. Was she trying to basically say her novel features an unhealthy relationship even with roles reversed? As in, "Hey guys, my book is horrible either way!" Or was her goal to further highlight how Twilight had a lot of instances of sexism, including sexual violence against women? Because if so, then I suppose, yeah, she was successful.

Here's a general run down: Beau is your classic Gary Stu who falls for The Ultimate Manic Pixie Dream Girl, Edythe. He has no aspirations to do or be anything until he spots the love of his life in his high school cafeteria. Not much has changed with our young, desperate lovers except for their pronouns, but Edythe is still a jerk/control freak/stalker and somehow less creepy than Edward. And Beau is still a very weak character and as interesting as the dirt beneath my shoe. There is an alternate ending which is essentially a pathetic attempt to pack New Moon and Eclipse into a clusterfuck of info-dumping. But more on that later.

What I really want to talk about is the treatment of the female characters.

I don't know how this was even possible, but reading Life and Death actually made me hate Twilight even more than I originally did. This is mostly because it became shockingly evident that certain scenes (sexual assault) were purposefully left out in this version because the characters didn't have vaginas. Lovely.

Bella's attempted rape scene has now turned into Beau's assault scene. If you remember, in Twilight, while Bella is getting lost in Port Angeles, she runs into a group of drunk men who attempt to sexually assault her. This is made clear by their jeers ("Don't be like that, sugar.") and Edward's later dialogue. But for Beau, his assailants are a mix between female and male and have the intention of beating him up because they think he is a cop. The section is entirely re-written with more dialogue, a gun and threats of death.

Then there is Rosalie's rape scene, now changed to Royal's assault scene. Instead of Royal being raped, he's tricked during the wedding and beat up within an inch of his life. Now, one could argue the time period and say, "Well, that's happened back then. It's just how things were." And, maybe, before I read Life and Death I could have seen that point. But when the two biggest instances of female sexual assault are completely left out when you swap the genders, oy, that's an issue.

Now that is not to say I wanted to see men get rape in Life and Death. It's just a glaring problem where I now see those scenes as "Literary Rape," used as plot devices to add depth and sympathy to Rosalie's character, and to give Edward a reason to look super heroic in the face of rapists. Maggie Stiefvater said it best in This is a Post About Literary Rape:
"I’m talking about novels where the rape scene could just as easily be any other sort of violent scene and it only becomes about sex because there’s a woman involved. If the genders were swapped, a rape scene wouldn’t have happened. The author would’ve come up with a different sort of scenario/ backstory/ defining moment for a male character."

That is exactly what happened here.

One could argue that Meyer wrote a more progressive version of Twilight with Life and Death and that's partly true to an extent. Edythe does appear to try to make her relationship with Beau as equal as possible. But there are constant references to the gender changes as if Meyer is trying to prove something to the reader, and they only seemed to further resign me to the fact that Meyer has no idea what she's doing. (Bold is mine.)
His straight gold hair was wound into a bun on the back of his head, but there was nothing feminine about it— somehow it made him look even more like a man.

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I fumbled for my wallet.
“Um, let me— you didn’t even get anything—”
“My treat, Beau.” “But—”
“Try not to get caught up in antiquated gender roles.”

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She turned toward the cafeteria, swinging her bag into place.
“Hey, let me get that for you,” I offered.
She looked up at me with doe eyes. “Does it look too heavy for me?”
“Well, I mean…”
“Sure,” she said. She slid the bag down her arm and then held it out to me, very deliberately using just the tip of her pinkie finger.

It was like Meyer was shouting me, "DO I IMPRESS YOU?!" And I kept going:

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In the hands of a more skilled writer, this might have been pulled off flawlessly. I found the changes she made with Beau's narration interesting. Meyer mentioned in the Forward that Bella is more flowery with her words, where Beau is not. This is a complete understatement. The one thing Twilight actually had going for it, was the occasionally pretty quote. I say occasional, because the novel contains too many short, simple sentences than I usually like in my books. In Life and Death's case, the writing has been watered down so much that it feels on par with See Spot Run. And I don't necessarily think this is a gender thing. Just because a character is a boy, doesn't mean he can't be articulate or well-versed.
“Bonnie, there’s something you didn’t know about me.…   I used to smell really good to vampires.”

Corny. So very corny.

It's not uncommon to discover popular YA authors' inability to write convincing male POVs. *cough*Veronica Roth*cough* And I learned from Midnight Sun, that it's not exactly Meyer's forte either, but c'mon! This was really bad, even for her.

The there's Beau's obsession with Edythe's unhealthy* body. Oh, god, I'm so disgusted with this part, and I don't really understand why it was included.
"Her pale arms, her slim shoulders, the fragile-looking twigs of her collarbones, the vulnerable hollows above them, the swanlike column of her neck, the gentle swell of her breasts— don’t stare, don’t stare— and the ribs I could nearly count under the thin cotton. She was too perfect, I realized with a crushing wave of despair. There was no way this goddess could ever belong with me."

Is this supposed to show Beau's unrealistic expectations of women's bodies? That only vampires can achieve this level of "perfection" that society constantly forces on us? Because there is no other explanation that works well here and I'm really trying to give Meyer the benefit of the doubt and throw her a bone. The issue with this theory is, there's no indication in the book that this is an unrealistic view. Actually quite the opposite happens later in that same scene:
I had a new definition of beauty.

Sigh. I don't think I need to go into why this is problematic, so I'll just leave that there for your critique.

*Unhealthy, as in for majority of women, this is an unattainable beauty standard. Apologies if that came off as body shaming women/girls where that is their healthy. I'm speaking specifically about society's constant pressure on women and girls to be as thin as possible, many times to the detriment of their physical and emotional health. When Beau describes Edythe, he focuses so heavily on the sharp angles of her bones and it perpetuates the idea that these characteristics make her more beautiful than others. I find these descriptions irresponsible and feel there could have been a better way to describe her.

So let's talk about the ending. This part will have spoilers beyond this point. This is your one and only warning.

Yes, it's re-written -- horribly, if I'm being honest. During the scene with the ballet studio (which, BTW, Beau didn't take ballet as a kid because HE'S A BOY. *eyeroll*), everything is pretty much similar expect for the fact that Edythe can't suck out all the venom out of Beau's body, leaving him only one possible future: becoming a vampire super early and living happily ever after with his BAE, Edythe.

I wouldn't have had an issue with the change if it had actually been written without the massive amounts of info-dumping. It reads like Meyer decided last minute that she wanted to only do 2 chapters of the gender swap (which she mentions in the Forward), realized she spent all of her deadline time on re-writing the entire book, and quickly wrote an ending hours before she emailed it to her editor.

She crams the werewolf history, volturi history, rules of being a vampire, and Beau's human funeral altogether and it's just so goddamn messy. It also makes the insta-love look even worse because at least Bella had 3 other books and a pining Jacob to consider leaving Edward. It was just an overall hot ass mess that seemed so out of place. This is why I said they just let Meyer do whatever the hell she wants; half that stuff would have never flown with a debut novel or any novel that desired to actually be, you know, good.

Would I recommend this and should you read it? Hard to say. My first response is, "Oh, god, no. Don't waste your money." $12.99 is an unacceptable price for an ebook (thank goodness for Kindle returns!). It doesn't really offer anything vital to the Twilight fandom/universe and is generally a horrible piece of writing that I want to fling stones at. But then the other half of me enjoys the suffering of my fellow book lovers and is considering purchasing this as a gag joke to both of my lovely co-bloggers. Because that's really all this trite, wish-fulfilling, wankfest of a re-imaginging is good for, and I really, really need to stop being so damn curious about everything. But anyway, I'm rambling when all I really want to say is... the ball's in your court now, E.L. James. I eagerly await your newest, fan fiction original book.

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Profile Image for karen.
3,994 reviews171k followers
Shelved as 'oh-dear'
June 14, 2018
e.l. james runs out of ideas and desperately rewrites Fifty Shades of Grey from christian's perspective.

stephenie meyers "celebrates" Twilight by swapping genders but maintaining heteronormative ideals.

e.l. james rewrites Fifty Shades of Grey but where they're all dalmatians this time.

stephenie meyers sets Twilight in johannesburg

e.l. james makes fifty shades of paper dolls

ladies - it's time to cut the cord on this and write some new shit.

come to my blog!
Profile Image for Emily May.
2,057 reviews311k followers
Shelved as 'lost-interest'
October 6, 2015
For one beautiful moment, I thought this wasn't so bad. I mean, yeah, it's Twilight... but "gender bent retelling"?

An LGBT Twilight?! That's cool!

But no. This is not a gay Twilight between Beau and Edward, but another straight Twilight between Beau and Edythe. She just swapped the genders. Not in a transgender way either... in a "I don't have any new ideas" way.

Meyer, please:

Profile Image for Lexie.
224 reviews198 followers
Want to read
August 25, 2016
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(Somewhere in the distance, Robert Pattinson's mouth is agape in a silent scream of terror.)

Meanwhile, the fanfiction spinoff is already in the works...

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Profile Image for Anne.
4,244 reviews70k followers
July 10, 2022
*rubs hands together with glee*
Sparkle for me, bitch!

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Annnnd that was how I felt before I read it.
Yep. I was one of those 5 people who didn't automatically 1 star this sucker.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
Because it certainly looks like Meyer is milking the cash cow pretty hard when you look at the price tag. $13 for the Kindle edition?!
But in all fairness, you are not only getting this (admittedly weird) re-imagining of Twilight but the real book, as well. For those of you with a copy of the original, that isn't much of a selling point, but since I didn't have Twilight in my personal library... *shrugs*
Not a bad deal for me.
And sometime in the future, I plan on going back and rereading the bestselling romance that made abstinence seem like the way to go.
Because death by vampire penis is kinda scary.
Girls, wait till marriage. Otherwise, the boy is likely to eat you. And not in the good way!

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So, yes, I liked Twilight.
Loved it, in fact. Do I think it's the best book ever written?
*snorts, falls out of chair laughing*
Of course not. But I did have a blast reading these books with my BFF. We got all caught up in the sparkly love story and spent hours on the phone discussing the plot. It was like we were teenagers again. And the entire time we were in the thrall of our Twitard mania, we would giggle about what a couple of idiots we were to get so wrapped up in such a cheesetastic story.
Because ridiculous teenage angst is ridiculous.

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But those were priceless memories with my best buddy, and I just simply refuse to apologize for them.
Alrighty, I said all that to say this: I'm not a hater. I do realize that these books aren't exactly perfect, but they certainly aren't the worst things ever written. If you think that, then you obviously haven't read some of the true garbage that's out there. There are so many romances out there that are actively terrible that there's no way I can lump this book in with them. And there are so many bloated, boring, unedited crap novels floating around, that I honestly can't understand all the hate this book gets. Is it simply because a lot of people liked it, and it pisses off those who didn't?
For those of you who feel that way, I bring a peace offering.

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Moving on to the main event!
So, in my humble opinion, how did Life and Death stack up to the original?
Um...

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Yeah. No.
Sorry, switching the genders just didn't work out very well for me. Scenes that may have been only slightly awkward in the original, suddenly became glaringly awkward in the re-imagining.
Because that monkey-piggyback thing was stupid to start with...

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And now you've got a super tall dude with his gangly arms & legs flopping all over the place. There was no way I could get past the mental image of how absurd it would look. Sorry. Just...weird.
And there were lots of things like that I couldn't get past.
Like the part where Edythe gives Beau her scarf (stolen from Archie, so it's not a lady scarf!) to keep him warm at the restaurant. He gratefully wraps his blotchy neck up like a mummy, sips his coke, and stares adoringly at Edythe. It was just about the least manly thing I've ever read.
Or this little gem from Beau:
"Outside, I threw the quilt into the middle of the sunniest spot in Charlie's small square yard, then threw myself on top of it."
Was that seriously a sentence from a guy's point of view!?
Are you for fucking real, Meyer?!
The deal was, that you were supposed to switch genders. Not make Beau into the most feminine character I've ever read about. I guess I'm not as progressive as I thought I was, because by the end of the book, I wanted to punch him in his vagina!

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Let's not forget Edythe, though.
Although, that's pretty much what I did. She was nowhere near interesting, and I couldn't have possibly cared less about what happened to her character. Other than the unbelievably pretentious spelling of her name, she didn't have much going for her. I expected her to be...something other than whatever was on those pages.
How can I explain this?
Ok, if Movie Bella were Book Edward, that would be Edythe. Ugh.

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It took me longer than I thought it would to slog through this, and I want to apologize to the lovely ladies I was supposed to be buddy-reading with. In my defense, life was a little hectic this past week, so I'm hoping you guys forgive me.

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I think I probably would have given this 1 star, but I actually enjoyed the alternate ending. Especially the parts that poked at Twilight's ending. If Meyer had written the rest of the book as well as she did the last bit, I would have enjoyed it quite a bit more, I think.
For those of you who are curious about the ending, but aren't planning to read this book, go ahead and click the spoiler tag.


To me, this ending was a fun What If story. If she could have re-imagined the whole thing, instead of just (mostly) changing pronouns, I would have been happy.
As it is, I don't think this is worth the price tag, simply because it isn't (for the most part) a quality story. I actually had more fun on this review's thread than I did reading this painful rendition of Meyer's 'classic' novel.
On the whole, it was an Epic Fail.

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If you need a good laugh, Honest Trailers Rocks This Movie.
Profile Image for Darth J .
417 reviews1,281 followers
Shelved as 'not-my-cup-of-tea'
March 7, 2017
Great. Just imagine the fan fiction...

Profile Image for Whitney Atkinson.
978 reviews12.8k followers
Read
May 5, 2017
(disclaimer: i love stephenie's writing and the twilight saga)

This is the only book that I have EVER bought and in the same day, returned it.

I jumped into this blindly because it's been so long since Stephanie Meyer has done ANYTHING (seriously) and although at first I was skeptical, I had to admit, I missed her writing, so I picked this up from target today. At home, I sat down to skim through the first few chapters, and then realized on page one my mistake of buying it without looking into it.

It's the same exact fucking book as Twilight, word for word in most places.
I know that some things are changed, like apparently the ending is different, but this is bullshit. You can't just change the pronouns of all the characters in a book and then rerelease it. Whoever decided that this was a good idea is insane. I can't believe it. Meyer specifically said in the author's note that she didn't have enough time to finish midnight sun so she did this instead. I think it's utter bullshit, because anyone can take their book and republish it giving the characters different names. There's absolutely no creativity, no work being done except pressing Ctrl+F and swapping out a few pronouns.

I am severely disappointed. All this just to prove a point that Bella isn't some damsel in distress.
Profile Image for Natalie Monroe.
607 reviews3,729 followers
Shelved as 'morbidly-curious'
October 7, 2015


The Twilight series is a vampire. It won't die unless you burn it with fire.
Profile Image for Christy.
4,105 reviews34.6k followers
March 13, 2017
3ish stars...

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Everyone has that one book or one series that really turned them into a reader. I’ve been a reader for as long as I can remember, but I was one of those readers that read maybe 2-3 books a month. Then the month after I graduated nursing school in 2008, I picked up this book called Twilight. I was OBSESSED. I bought all 4 of those books and read them in less than 4 days. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t study for my nursing boards. I was consumed. Then, a month or two later, I dragged my husband to the movies to see it on the big screen. It was Team Edward shirts, midnight releases at book stores when the DVD came out… yes- I was 22 years old when I started reading these books… I’m not even embarrassed I was so obsessed with these books (even though I probably should be)

Now that you have a little Twilight history, you know that I know these aren’t the best books ever. I know the writing isn’t epic, but I also know they’re hella entertaining and have opened the doors for so many authors (I can’t even count how many favorite books of mine have started as Twilight fanfic). And most importantly, without Twilight, who knows if I would have started reading daily, joined goodreads and met all you fantastic people.

When Stephanie made her announcement of the gender reversal, I’m not gonna lie. I was along the masses who wanted Midnight Sun or the sequel to The Host, but even so, I knew I had to read it. So I bought the hardback copy from Amazon (no way I’m paying $12.99 for that ebook) and I waited the 2 days for it to ship. It’s my one Saturday a month I’m home alone and not on call, so I’m super excited to spend my day in Forks…. NOW TO THE REAL REVIEW OF THE ACTUAL BOOK:

The Twilight saga will always hold a special place in my heart, but this book- ugh. As a super fan I hate to say this, but it wasn’t great for me. The concept could have worked, but I honestly felt like the author took out all the names, replaced them, changed a few itty bitty things and called it a day. This is not a retelling of Twilight, this IS Twilight. If I wanted to re-read Twilight, I would have done that. I’m just sad I spent my whole reading Saturday on a re-read… I was disappointed that the characters didn’t have many changes besides the names. I wanted more development. The ending was drastically changed, and honestly I don’t think I liked the way it ended.

I will forever love Twilight, and fans of the story that want a fun way to re-read with the characters genders swapping, then I say pick this up and you will probably LOVE it. I think my expectations were just too high. I wanted something different, something more. Life and Death gets a generous 3 stars from me.

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Profile Image for Paige  Bookdragon.
938 reviews629 followers
Shelved as 'never'
October 7, 2015
EDIT:Gonna add more Jimmy.Just because.


Some trees are going to be sacrificed for this shit.

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Profile Image for beautyliterate.
337 reviews1,361 followers
March 13, 2017
10/15/15
FINALLY HERE IS MY BOOK REVIEW!! I filmed this right after I finished Life and Death (it's non-spolier btw) :https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p47Z1...
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10/12/15
As I mentioned before in this review I adore the Twilight Saga and I own so much to that series. When reading this book there were moments when I just got so overwhelmed. I would just randomly start crying because it felt like I was thrown back in time to when I was in the fifth grade reading Twilight for the first time. I loved reading this book and I thought the switch of the genders was interesting. I appreciated the fact Stephenie Meyer didn't just revise Twilight but put her own twist on it making it so enjoyable to read. I know from the reviews already posted that many people just automatically gave it a 1 star without even reading it so I hope this review and my video will help people deciding if they should read it or not.

Overall, I think if you are a fan of the saga you will enjoy reading this book :)
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10/09/15
Finally have it in my possession going to start reading it, wish me luck!
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10/06/15
I know many people hate Twilight but for me it was everything.

The first book I read more than 50 pages of.
The first book that made me laugh.
The first book that gave me the feels.
The first book that I felt I could connect with.
The first book I reread a million times because I couldn't get enough of it.



Twilight along with the rest of the books in the saga were the reason I started reading and if it wasn't for them I probably would have never joined Booktube. When I heard about this new book I cried (I know pretty dramatic) but I'm turning 18 tomorrow aka the "ending" of my childhood and honestly it's weird since I still feel like I'm 8. With the release of this book it made me realize I own a lot to Stephenie Meyer and I cannot wait to read this book.

I will keep you updated when it finally arrives :)
Profile Image for Tatiana.
1,451 reviews11.5k followers
Shelved as 'lost-interest'
October 6, 2015
This must be a joke, right?
Profile Image for Julio Genao.
Author 9 books2,094 followers
Shelved as 'no'
October 30, 2015
dude, that shit don't work on me no more.

description

this is what happens when the fanfic ethos of gleeful theme-spelunking meets the cold, hard, sixth avenue reality of having to come up with the odd original idea now and again.

call me crazy, but if this thing were free, queer, and set in AU england with steampunk accoutrement i would srrsly read the absolute shit out of it.
Profile Image for ily .
455 reviews722 followers
Read
March 13, 2017
I put my head down, pretending to stare at my book, as soon as her eyes released me. It bothered me—the rush of emotion pulsing through me, just because she’d happened to look at me for the first time in six weeks. It wasn’t normal. It was actually pretty pathetic, and probably more than that. Unhealthy.


And yet here we are....





DNF at 30% because life's too short for shitty books.

I made the huge mistake of thinking this could actually be something good. I thought Stephenie Meyer wanted to fix her past mistakes with a different version of Twilight. But it only gets WORSE. Seriously, why having the same book? Why would you change the names and genre but not the pathetic, lifeless and zombie-like personalities of your characters? Why not change their bad decisions and problematic behaviors? Why would you put the readers though all that AGAIN? What did the world do to deserve this, Meyer?



Now only God knows what horrible thing E. L. James is planning.
Profile Image for Vanessa J..
347 reviews620 followers
Shelved as 'would-not-even-touch'
October 6, 2015
From the synopsis of this edition:

This special double-feature book includes the classic novel, Twilight, and a bold and surprising reimagining, Life and Death, by Stephenie Meyer.


I'm seriously worried about the future of the human race. "The classic novel Twilight" and its "bold and surprising reimagining"... Excuse me while I weep for the future generations.
Profile Image for Manny.
Author 34 books14.9k followers
Shelved as 'not-to-read'
October 13, 2015
Q: What's little and brown, stinks, and might be found down a toilet?
















Give up?















A: Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined.

[Well, it's published by Little and Brown and it stinks. But you should restrain your natural impulses if you don't want to spend the rest of the evening fishing things out from the U-bend. I'm afraid 752 pages just won't flush away like you're hoping it will]
Profile Image for Laura.
471 reviews566 followers
January 4, 2016
description

|0.1 I just want to drink until I forget about this stars|

This has been a really bizarre experience for me and I don’t know how to feel. Just..., Stephenie.

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I wanted to give this book or whatever, the chance I felt it deserved. See, Twilight was the catalyzer of my reading life. It was Twilight who introduced me to YA and that helped me find this community. It was because of Twilight and its movies that I found a lot of things and people I love till this day so having this book released, in honor of the tenth year anniversary? It was a must read against my best judgement.

I know there were/are things utterly wrong with Twilight, trust me, I know, and if I re-read the whole saga now, I may even dislike it but that won’t ever erase the fact that these books gave me a lot of happiness.

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And that is my reason/excuse for reading this. I felt like I owed it to Stephenie but now I’m not so sure.

See, this book (if I may call this a book) is so crappy I don’t know how I managed to actually read it. Let me list why I hated the most really quick or this rant could go in forever.

1. Stephenie, you are a worldwide best-seller author. You have legions of fans. You could probably say “jump” and a lot of people (me included… or not?) would just do so… so why are you apologizing? It set a really bad precedence to open up with an "I’M SO SORRY". Woman, if you’re aware of the fact that you’re not giving us something new and that you’re not giving us Midnight Sun, at least own it. You clearly had fun doing this… whatever this was so the least you could do was to be woman enough to do it without giving us lame excuses.

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2. What’s up with those ugly as fuck names? And I’m very sorry if you’re named like one of these characters but Edward > Edythe? Rosalie > Royal? Alice > Archie? Esme > Ernest? And, wait for it: Carlisle > Carine. And don’t get me started with Tyler > Taylor. Wow, Stephenie, just wow.

3. Charlie is one of my favorite characters of the series. I enjoyed him a lot and I really had hope when I figured “hey, if everyone switched genders, it’ll be cool to see woman!Charlie and man!Renée” but nope. That made me so incredibly angry and her excuse for it? It wasn’t realistic. REALLY, STEPHENIE, REALLY? So you go and write and Paranormal teenager romance book, then you re-write said book but changing the genders and you couldn’t make the father have the custody because ”Here’s the reason for that: Beau was born in 1987. It was a rare thing for a father to get primary custody of a child in those days—even more so when the child was just a baby. Most likely, the mother would have had to be proven unfit in some way. I have a really hard time believing that any judge at that time (or even now) would give a child to a transient, unemployed father over a mother with a steady job and strong ties to her community.” It’s your WORLD, Stephenie. If you really wanted to make it rain blood, you could have done it. That’s just you being lazy, and I’m not sorry to say it. It’d be great to see a female Charlie being chief police and her being taciturn and not some homely just like male Charlie and what about a carefree male Renée? I mean, that could have been good but no. Ugh.

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4. Now, this was Twilight, Stephenie just changed the pronouns and that was it. I don’t care if some lines aren’t the same, the whole thing reminded that way. I had a really hard time liking Beau (in the end I didn’t) and that never was a problem with Bella. Stephenie said Beau wasn’t flowery as Bella was but that’s not an excuse for a poor plain writing just to make it all mainly. It is her job as a writer to make the world appealing and the MC stand out. That was not the case and because of the dialogues were the same, I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes at my brain throwing the original paragraphs while reading this. It was not fun.

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5. Stephenie said she was given green light to do anything she wanted with this project and after she complained about how some things in Twilight weren’t her decision (which we all know but it totally paid your bills so why complain about it?) so this was what? Stephenie’s opportunity to try to make the world stop hating Bella and Edward? IT FAILED. This was the same romance, somehow less appealing and totally full of bullshit.

6. Now, something that absolutely pissed me off what how she changed Rosalie’s rape for a beating for Royal. Oh, and that scene when Bella was almost sexual assaulted? Nope, Beau was mistaken for a police officer and they almost beat the shit out of him. What? Don’t men get raped? I don’t know (more like I don’t want to assume) why she did change that. She’s a Mormon and I honestly don’t know anything about that religion so I can’t shit about it but did that have anything to do with this? Do they or does she think guys cannot be victims of sexual assaults? If so, that’s just wrong. There went another missed opportunity.

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7. The ending? That was just bullshit. She tried to pack three books in 4 paragraphs and the result was messy and senseless. THE ONLY THING I FOUND INTERESTING WAS THE VULTURI TWIST, THAT’S IT because she could HAVE DONE SOME NICE SHIT WITH A ALL FEMALE WOF PACK. Why didn’t she write more about it? THAT WAS LAZINESS.

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Look, I love Twilight but this book didn’t work for me and if y’all think Edward & Bella’s relationship was unhealthy, then you’re going to fucking hate Edythe & Beau. Beau was just there, doing nothing. At least I could relate to Bella and some things and she had personality while Beau was as plain as a wall; and damn, I felt really uncomfortable with Beau’s view of Edythe’s body.

I’d never seen so much of her skin. Her pale arms, her slim shoulders, the fragile-looking twigs of her collarbones, the vulnerable hollows above them, the swanlike column of her neck, the gentle swell of her breasts—don’t stare, don’t stare—and the ribs I could nearly count under the thin cotton. She was too perfect, I realized with a crushing wave of despair. There was no way this goddess could ever belong with me.
She stared at me, shocked by my tortured expression.


Stephenie, for this I totally blame you. I do not care at all about your personal belief, this is just wrong. There are people—girls—that look like this, and they’re sick. If you can count a person’s ribs, then that person is very, very skinny and we all know how problematic that is.

Is this what you’re trying to sell?

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Having guys idolatrize that kind of body is already bad enough and a very serious issue we have and I hate when books promote this shit.

I normally don’t go around telling people to avoid certain books. We all are different and see things differently but this? I would not recommend this book. Not even if you’re a Twilight fan like me, just don’t. Not only this book is utterly crap but it gives a really sick view on how guys should look upon girls.

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I don't think I've ever said this of an authot but I'm really ashamed of her and me and this book should have never been printed.
Profile Image for Rosa, really.
584 reviews319 followers
Want to read
October 6, 2015

Why the hell can't Meyer write something else? Edythe? Beau? Ew.



I'm totally reading the fuck out it.
Profile Image for Tehanu.
336 reviews57 followers
Shelved as 'skip-through'
July 8, 2017


I still can't believe this is real.
The funny thing is: I REALLY WANT TO READ IT.
Come on, guys!! It's going to be SOOOO funny!!

Kudos to Meyer, for trolling her fanbase and milking that cow:

Profile Image for Bee.
836 reviews209 followers
October 12, 2015

Istyria book blog ~ B's world of enchanted books

0.5 star


Warning: This is a negative, rant-y review and there are mean things about this book and series in it. Also, probably, curse words. If you're sensitive to people hating on a book you love and you're a fan of Twilight, do not keep reading. Not if it means that you'll be insulting me in the comments by saying my opinion is wrong. Thanks in advance. 

*deep breath* *cracks knuckles* Okay, let's do this.

Let me start off by saying that I did love these books when I first read them. What can I say? I didn't know a lot of great books and pretty much read whatever was popular. Since then I've grown and I discovered this great community and so many amazing books. So when I re-read these old favorites of mine, I couldn't do it. I hated them. I saw everything that was wrong with these books. And I'm not saying that it's wrong for you to like these books. It's not. It's awesome if you love them. I know a lot of you started reading or discovered YA books because of these books and that is amazing! If anything, I'm happy that it got you reading and if you love these books, good for you. But I don't. And I never had a chance to review these books since I didn't really know that was a thing until I found Goodreads. Now I do and it's not going to be pretty.

First things first, this book is nothing new. Sorry if some of you hoped for something new and refreshing. It's not. This book came out already. Ten years ago. It's called Twilight. This version is exactly the same. Only about 5-10% is different. And it didn't improve anything. I had hoped that it would be better, but I knew what I was in for when I started this. I didn't expect any improvement. And I knew I was right after reading the first page. The writing is still just as cringe-worthy as it was ten years ago. The characters, though their genders are switched, are still the same, bland, stupid people they were ten years ago. And I was just as frustrated reading this as I was years ago.

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Don't think for one second that swapping the genders changes a thing. It doesn't. Bella is stupid and boring as a girl and a boy. Edward is a creepy stalking discoball as a boy and a girl. Also, since all the genders were different, the names changed too and quite honestly, I didn't know who was who most of the time. And I didn't give two craps about it. The names were stupid and the characters just as forgettable as they always have been. I mean, honestly... Edythe? Jessamine, Royal,..? What kind of names are those? And yes, they're still glittering diamonds in the sunlight. I did hope that that would've changed, but no such luck. The romance hasn't changed either. It's, almost word for word, the same gagtastic insta-love.

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Okay, one thing has changed. The ending is slightly different, but not original in the least. It's just a few moments from the other three books thrown together to make a "new" ending. Which is good cause it means there won't be any more of this craptacular gender-swapped Twilight in the future. Though, I did give this a half star for a reason. Because of the gender switch-up, the ridiculous miracle that was Renesmee doesn't happen. Hurray for that! But in the end, it all comes down to the same. It sucks. It's not good. It's not worth your time. And I was stupid to have any hope for improvement at all. I stopped reading every word about halfway through. From there on I just skimmed the rest. I just wanted to get it over with.

Stephenie Meyer is not a good author. And I'm not even talking about the writing. She hasn't published anything new since The Host came out in 2008. God knows why we're still waiting for the sequel to that, though I'm not really eager to read it anyways so whatever. But instead of proving the haters wrong and bring us something new and original and good, she writes this? The same stupid-ass book she published ten years ago, only slightly different? Doesn't she have any original ideas? Does she need to keep milking the same cow for the rest of her life? Cause if that's the case, she's not an author. She's someone who wrote a bad story and got insanely lucky. As a reader I'm pissed. As a writer myself, I'm raging. This is not fair and it's bullcrap.

There are so many talented writers out there, begging for a chance to get their work published by a professional publisher and they'd deserve it because they would bring something amazing to this world. There are so many self-published authors or authors from smaller publishers that don't get the spotlight they deserve. And this stupid fucking series gets so much attention and praise and I don't understand. I really don't get it. Why do these horrible books become so damn popular? Why does anyone encourage this person to keep rehashing and milking the same damn story? This book that's supposedly a reimagined version, costs $13 as an e-book. 13 fucking dollars! I don't care that we get the original twilight with bonus features with it. It's not worth it. It really isn't. I know so many authors that are worth all the attention Stephenie Meyer gets but they don't. And I couldn't for the life of me explain why that is. And I swear, if E.L. James once again copies Stephenie by writing a genderswapped Fifty Shades, my faith in humanity will be gone. Cause she is another example of an author that doesn't deserve the attention she gets. It boggles my mind and it makes me angry and frustrated. But hey, as long as people pay for their books, things won't change and those brilliant authors that actually deserve to be on top will stay in the shadows of these two and that breaks my heart.

If your instincts were to skip this one, they were right. Don't read this. Except maybe if you're a die hard twilight fan. Even then, just don't. I refuse to encourage anyone to read this. If you want a good book in this genre, just let me know and I'll have some great recommendations for you. But don't read this. Just don't. Though it is a very good opportunity to review Twilight if you've read it before your reviewing days.

sign bieke
Profile Image for Emma Giordano.
316 reviews108k followers
March 13, 2017
I absolutely LOVED this book. I will have a full review on my channel soon, but this was such a lovely read as a twi-hard. While it is essentially the same book, the writing has improved SO MUCH in ten years, and the characters feel like they are written the way they were SUPPOSED to be. I feel that all the kinks were worked out and it made twilight even more enjoyable to read. In some aspects, I actually prefer it to "TwiIight" (not to discredit how much I loved Twilight, there are just so many positive changes to this rewrite). I was totally not expecting the ending and I thought it was super interesting to see how the series COULD have ended. Highly recommend to anyone who was a fan of the twilight series!! x
Profile Image for Isa Cantos (Crónicas de una Merodeadora).
1,009 reviews41.9k followers
February 13, 2016
Okay, sí, le estoy dando cinco estrellas a un libro de Crepúsculo, ¿Y QUÉ?

Dicho esto... wow. ¿Quién iba a decir que esta historia me pudiera cautivar tanto como la primera vez que la leí en su versión original? Ni yo misma lo pensaba. De hecho, creía que iba a ser entretenido, que me iba a confundir un montón y ya está, pero no. Agoté todo un color de post-its y tuve que pasar al segundo (dato totalmente irrelevante...). Disfruté muchísimo de la historia de Beau y Edythe, no me importaron sus frases tremendamente cursis porque mi yo de 14 años fangirleaba con ellas igual que cuando Edward y Bella se las decían, jajaja.

Debo admitir que el libro al comienzo es MUY confuso porque no puedes evitar comparar el tono con el libro original, pensar cada dos por tres cuál es la equivalencia de equis personaje y cosas así. Ahora, lo que a mí más me desubicó al principio fue que leía mentalmente la voz de Beau como si aún fuera la de Bella... y eso hizo que me lo imaginara como un chico súper afeminado las primeras cincuenta páginas (eh, que no hay nada de malo en eso, sólo que mi cabeza no lo procesaba bien, jajaja). Ya luego pude ponerle a Beau una voz masculina en mi cabeza y todo cambió. Empecé a disfrutar el libro sin compararlo (tanto) con el original, viviendo la historia de Edythe y Beau paso a paso con ellos. Porque, sí, a pesar de que es una reinterpretación del libro original, en cierto modo sentía que lo que estaba leyendo era completamente nuevo porque, quieras o no, que cambien los géneros de los personajes hace que sus roles se modifiquen, de manera que no todo lo que pasa en Crepúsculo puede pasar exactamente igual en Vida y Muerte.

Y es que el libro va muchísimo más allá de una simple reinterpretación de Crepúsculo y eso es todo lo que voy a decir al respecto. Léanlo. Sorpréndanse. Quédense con la boca abierta. Entren de nuevo al mundo que, muy probablemente, en mi caso fue así, los introdujo en la lectura. No piensen que ya están muy viejos para leer historias de amor, de obsesión y de cosas que van más allá de la muerte, no dejen que nadie los haga sentir mal por leer el libro. Yo lo amé... por si no ha quedado claro ya, jajaja.

-He pensado que hay algo que me gustaría intentar.
Volvió a colocar las manos a ambos lados de mi rostro. No pude respirar.
Vaciló... Aquello era una especie de test para ver su era seguro, para cerciorarse de que aún se mantenía bajo control.
Entonces sus fríos y perfectos labios presionaron muy suavemente los míos.


No les voy a decir que el libro me gustó más que el original porque 1) los leí en dos momentos diferentes de mi vida y 2) creo que no sería justo comparar las historias. Ambas versiones son geniales, aunque siento -dentro de mi ignorancia- que Stephenie Meyer tuvo la oportunidad de corregir muchísimas cosas tanto del tono, del estilo y ya no te digo de la trama de la novela en esta versión reimaginada.

Ahora, si me disculpan, iré a buscar imágenes de Beau y Edythe en Tumblr ;)
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