Jenson Button braced for emotional F1 return following father's death

Jenson Button spoke on Tuesday night for the first time about the “horrific” grief he has suffered since the death of his father and described his loss as being “a stake through my heart”.

John Button died of a suspected heart attack in January, aged 70. He had missed only a handful of Jenson’s races since his son’s debut for Williams in 2000.

The 34-year-old is preparing for the season opener in Australia without his father for the first time and admits he will struggle to keep his emotions in check at Albert Park this weekend.

“It’s been a pretty strange couple of months,” Button said. “I would say horrific, but in certain ways it’s been nice – the messages of condolence and people’s thoughts about my father, things I never even knew about him.

"It’s been very special in that way and to see how many people he has touched. When you’re busy testing, and things like that, you get on with your business and you can have a laugh, you can have a joke.

“Somebody wrote me a nice message saying: ‘Everyone else’s lives will go back to normal, but it won’t for you, but never feel guilty about having a laugh or a smile because it’s exactly what he would want.’ I thought it was a lovely message.

“It’s when you’re away from racing or away from people, that’s when it hurts. It hits you like a stake through the heart.”

Affectionately known as ‘Papa Smurf', John Button was a hugely popular figure in the Formula One paddock, supporting Jenson’s career from his early days karting in Frome, Somerset, through his world championship triumph in 2009.

Button Snr enjoyed his own successful career in rallycross in the Seventies, and was the toast of the paddock as he celebrated his 70th birthday last year in Hungary. He was always an immense support at race weekends, but never made the mistake of interfering directly with Jenson’s team.

Martin Whitmarsh, who got to know John Button well from his time as McLaren team principal, said at the time of his death that he was the most devoted driver’s father he has ever known.

“At the grand prix, obviously I won’t be alone,” said Jenson. “I’ll have all my family and friends around me, which is going to help a lot. It’s still going to be unbelievably difficult, whether we have a good race or a bad race. Even with all those people there, whatever happens it’s going to be tough. Whether I liked it or not, he was always the last person who gave me a high five or a cuddle before I got into the car. I’m going to miss that a lot.

“If I make the podium, it will be unbelievably emotional. And if it all turns to s--- and we have a c--- race, it will also be emotional because he’s not there to pick me up.

“There were always those times when you had a bad race and he would come in and put it into perspective. That would annoy me in some way, because I knew he was right, but when your dad’s trying to tell you something when you’re in a bad mood it’s always difficult. It’s going to be a very emotional weekend. Not the only one this year.”

The 2009 world champion will take to the track on Sunday for his 15th season in Formula One, and he admitted just weeks after the loss of his father in January that he had considered not driving this year.

Yet this season also represents an inviting opportunity for Button. The struggles of the previously all-conquering Red Bull have opened the door to their rivals, McLaren included, and Button is determined not to waste the opportunity.

“I’m very surprised [by Red Bull],” Button said. “It’s strange. They are definitely not out of it but whether they will be there at the first race or not I don’t know. It would be pretty special if they could get to the first race and finish it with both cars, or even with one car, after what they’ve had through testing. I think if they do, they’ll be quick.

“We’re not quickest, but we’re not in bad shape. You would be looking at Q3 and then a very good points finish if you can get to the end. But Williams is the team that is looking most competitive. That’s good for the sport, having them back near the front. I’m happy for Frank [Williams].”