This article was co-authored with Dyan Crace.
It’s no secret that parenting is difficult. As a combat veteran, I've even sometimes wondered which is harder; war or raising children? So is managing a team just as hard? Granted, children need more attention and supervision than adults (most of the time), but the similarities between managing and parenting are interesting. Management isn’t for everyone, just like being a parent doesn’t suit us all.
Managing people can be as challenging as it is rewarding, and it is similar to parenting in that both need to guide, teach, encourage, discipline, compliment and provide the atmosphere needed for their team or family members to be successful. Here are the top 5 similarities:
1. Discipline
Whether you are in the work place or at home with your family, it is important to follow through on the expectations and rules you have set. Inevitably, one of your children is going to talk back or misbehave. The same thing goes for the workplace. Just as children like to push their parents' boundaries to see what they can get away with, some employees demonstrate the same type of behavior. This is why enforcing the rules, regulations and procedures that have been put in place is so important. Allowing a child or employee to walk all over you will not create an environment of mutual respect and will make each individual less productive. Nor is this type of management fair to those who consistently follow the rules.
2. Accountability
Showing up on time, taking responsibility for your actions, and feeling an obligation to uphold your word by doing what you say you will, are all qualities that parents want to instill in their children. And this is a "lead by example" kind of quality. Managers hire individuals with the expectation that those qualities are already ingrained in an employee. It is difficult to teach an adult to have integrity if it isn’t something they learned as a child. Children learn this by being held accountable at a young age. If they don’t clean their room, they don’t get to use their cell phone, or if they show up late for curfew, they don’t get to drive their car for a week. These are clear consequences put in place to make sure they understand the rules and know the importance of following those rules. As a manager, it is just as important to make the expectations very clear with consequences in place if the rules aren’t followed or deadlines are not met.
3. Praise
Employees and children need positive feedback. As a child, positive reinforcement can give them the confidence to keep trying and believe in their abilities. Self-confidence doesn’t just happen, it comes from repeated support and positive guidance. Making a child feel good about themselves carries into adulthood. Managers play a big role in helping to make their employees feel empowered, confident and self-reliant by the positive feedback they provide. When managers have their employees' back and support their decisions, those team members feel good about their abilities and what they are bringing to the company.
4. Respect
Respect is an important piece of any relationship. Parent to child or employee to manager, mutual respect can foster collaboration and cooperation which will encourage productivity, top performance and quality work. At home it will motivate positive actions, consideration and clear communication. Employees that respect their managers will want to gain from their expertise and knowledge, leading to more collaboration, training opportunities and a positive work environment. Children that respect their parents will listen and respond appropriately and understand that their parents make certain decisions, whether they like them or not, for the benefit of the child.
5. Restraint
There are going to be times when not everyone will get along. Children with siblings and co-workers with their peers. But it is the skill of restraint that is most impressive. If you can sit a child down and explain to them in a calm tone how to resolve their problem, it will go a lot further than yelling at them. Most people don’t respond well to getting verbally attacked. For managers, displaying aggressive behavior to resolve a conflict between two employees will not work. Sitting them both down, listening to both sides, stating your view and then working out the issue will be much more productive. The power of not letting your emotions get the best of you and practicing restraint will allow for a better outcome.
