This Photographer Wants to Change the Way You See Fatherhood

By: Jill Filipovic
All Photos Courtesy of Johan Bavman/INSTITUTE

When Johan Bävman’s son was born, the freelance photographer decided to take advantage of his native Sweden’s generous paternity leave policies, where parents are entitled to a total of 480 days of paid leave to share among them (60 of those days must be taken by the male parent, or it’s forfeited). But once home, he was surprised by how few resources and role models he had to navigate his new role. Bävman, who lives in the southern Swedish town of Malmö and has photographed oil extraction in the Amazon, albino people in Tanzania, and the scourge of maternal mortality in Uganda, decided to turn the camera on men like him: new dads at home with their kids. The results are stunning. Bävman talked to Cosmopolitan.com about the benefits of fathering one’s children, what gender equality really looks like, and what’s next for his project.

RELATED: 10 Things You Should Never Say to a New Mom

What inspired you to photograph men on paternity leave?
It started when I was home with my own son. That was 1.5 years ago. I couldn’t find literature or anything that related to me as a father. The system in Sweden, and in other countries as well, is more aimed at the woman in the family. I wanted to figure out if I could bring out role models dads can relate to. I didn’t want to have the Super Dad. I wanted to have the dads who show us the difficulties of having a child. Being at home parentally, it’s not always easy—it’s like a full-time job, or even more. That’s something we have been taking for granted and haven’t celebrated women for. Women have been doing this for ages, for centuries. So I actually thought I would have some comments from women saying, “If it was women in the pictures, it wouldn’t be a big thing; once again we focus on the small piece of the father or the man doing it correctly.” In Swedish society, though, we are lacking role models for men to connect to. In the beginning I thought it was an economic issue, why the parents don’t share days at home equally. But while I’ve been taking these pictures, I realized it was also a structural failure and a cultural failure. We think of ourselves as the most equal country in the world, and I think many other countries do too. We pat ourselves on the back and say, “We are by far the most equal country in terms of parental leave.” But it’s only 12 percent of families who share the days equally between partners. For us to say we are the most equal country, 12 percent is not good enough.

Tell me a little more about Sweden’s parental leave program.
In Sweden, our parental insurance system is kind of unique. We have 480 days in total that the partners can share, and 60 of these days are bound to the father. So if the father—or the partner; it could be a homosexual partner as well—but if the partner doesn’t take out those 60 days, the days are lost, and you can’t get a refund of it. In Sweden we get 80 percent of the salary during parental leave. If the families share the 480 days equally, you get what’s called an equal bonus, and that’s up to 1,500 euros. We also get the chance to be home with our children if they are sick, and then you also get something like 80 percent of your salary. This is something that, in my point of view, is good, if both parties can actually take care of the kids, even after the parental leave. Because then both parents can go to work, and both parents can take care of the home. But only a fourth of Swedish men take the 60 days.

RELATED: Note To Self: Never Play “Truth or Drink” With Your Parents

From your own experience taking time off to be home with your child and from photographing so many other men who take leave, what do you see as the benefits of having men as primary caregivers?
The prime thing is getting the connection to your children. You understand them. And you also get a better understanding of your partner. You see a lot of couples separate when the family becomes more than two, and one of the reasons is that they don’t understand each other. Having a child is hard — you don’t get enough sleep, you can get exhausted and angry and frustrated. Being able to be home helps you understand your partner and have a better relationship. And you know more of your child when the child is growing up, and as they get older they can come to you if they are seeking advice, or if they have some questions about men or being a male, they can come to you as a father. And that’s something which is important.

What reasons did the men you photographed give for staying home?
It’s sad to say it is the middle-class guys with academic backgrounds who take the leave for the most part. So for them it’s kind of easier, I would presume. I took a picture of a man called Said yesterday, a guy living in the suburb of Malmö, and he’s Arab and he was actually fighting for it. It was really hard because with his relatives and his next-door neighbors and his culture itself, it’s completely different. For him, taking leave was a bigger effort. The dads gave a lot of reasons for wanting to take leave, but most of them said what I said before—wanting a better relationship with your children, understanding them better, knowing your child can come to you and not only the mother if they are seeking comfort. If they’re sad, the child can come to the father as well, and the father can go put the baby to bed. The mother is not so bound to be at home, and that makes it easier for women to become more successful in their jobs and to do the things they want to do—to have their career run well and do what they want to do in their lives.

RELATED: Why I Didn’t Take My Husband’s Last Name

Was there anything about the men you photographed that surprised you?
There were a couple of dads that had other backgrounds, came from other countries. There was one guy from Spain and another from Iran. When they have told their mothers they would be on parental leave, their mothers were a little bit upset about it. They thought, Hey, are you taking away the only thing I am better than you at as a woman? In those cultures, that is a thing they see women as good at, and now the men are saying, Hey, we can do this as well. And the same for their cousins and so on, that they said, Well, hey, don’t put any thoughts in our women’s heads to get them upset about. We have a good life here, and don’t make a new thing about us taking care of the children. We’re good as it is.

Are you still taking photos of these men on leave?
Yes, I did one this morning. I’m up to 35 dads at the moment. My aim is to do 60, because of the 60 days that the dad has the right to take.

What’s the ultimate goal of this project?
The ultimate goal is that it causes debate and discussion about being home with the children and what you gain from it. And to create role models. I got an email saying, from the European Union Commission, that they wanted me to come there and talk about the subject. I want to get it out there and get people talking about it, letting everyone know that everyone is capable of taking care of children. This is something you have in your genes. When you have a child, a mother is not better than a father to take care of the children. It’s not something biologically that the mother is better at. It’s not. It’s something you learn by trial and error.

More from Cosmopolitan.com:
12 Things Not to Say to a Stay-at-Home Mom
Should You Crowdfund the Cost of Having a Baby?
Watch Guys Try to Unclasp Different Kinds of Bras