NFL players use PSAs to speak out against domestic abuse
William Gay spent much of his life silent about how domestic violence took his mother, how his stepfather followed her to a friend's house and shot her three times, and then killed himself, when Gay was 8 years old.
Gay, the 29-year-old cornerback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, kept quiet because he never wanted the pity of coaches or teammates. He thought it was a personal issue, a burden he could carry alone.
No longer.
Gay has become one of the NFL's most outspoken voices against domestic violence, believing it is his duty to speak up for victims like his mother, Carolyn Hall, and to speak out against men who commit violent crimes against women.
"I think she'd be very proud of me, because it's all about her. I'm just trying to keep her voice alive. She wasn't able to get out of the situation alive, but I can help and try to save someone else's life by telling her story, and what I've been through," Gay told USA TODAY Sports in a phone interview on Tuesday." It's telling men that this not OK. We're not going to sit back and say, 'We'll let you guys handle it.' That's not the case anymore. People die from this, and we need to do something about it, and if we see something, we need to say something."
Gay is one of 22 current and former players who this week filmed public service announcements for the NO MORE campaign that will begin airing during NFL games on Oct. 23. The NFL had been giving free air time – valued at more than $6 million -- to celebrity-driven NO MORE spots since Sept. 25. The group included current stars like Eli Manning of the New York Giants and the Cowboys' Jason Witten, as well as Hall of Famers Cris Carter, Curtis Martin and Aeneas Williams.
The new spots, directed by actors Mariska Hargitay in New York, Blair Underwood in Los Angeles and Tate Donovan in Dallas, are designed to speak directly to football fans in the wake of a massive crisis about the league's poor history of handling players accused of violent crimes against women.
"The truth is that domestic and sexual assault are two of the most wide spread and, until recently, hidden problems in our society," said Hargitay, the star of "Law and Order: Special Victim's Unit," whose Joyful Heart Foundation is one of hundreds of organizations backing the NO MORE movement.
Hargitay directed the first series of NO MORE spots last year that featured 50 celebrities including Courteney Cox, Nick Lachey, Sway and Blythe Danner as well as Baltimore Ravens defensive end Chris Canty. The message of those PSAs was to speak up, to stop making excuses for abusers, to stop blaming victims, and that will carry over to the new spots featuring the NFL players.
"The vast majority of men aren't violent, the problem is, they are silent about what other men perpetrate," Hargitay told USA TODAY Sports. "That's why this is so insanely powerful. Men are getting off the sidelines and are going to speak up. If sports is the most frequent place where people are talking about this, why not use this opportunity to educate the community?"
Dallas Cowboys tight end Jason Witten, a former NFL Walter Payton Man of the Year winner, has worked with the child victims of domestic violence for years. He saw the chance to film the public service announcement as a pure and powerful way to reach a massive NFL audience. The spots will begin airing during Week 8, in ad time worth $3 million across each network and all NFL timeslots.
"It's literally just standing up and saying 'I'm a man, I challenge you to be a man – we don't have to accept this,'" Witten said. "As athletes we have a great platform to be leaders on this. Fans should do the same thing that are watching this. Join the cause, and that will make a difference."
San Diego Chargers tight end Antonio Gates spent Tuesday afternoon filming in Los Angeles, choosing to take part in the campaign because he wanted to speak for the NFL players who haven't been in legal trouble. With high-profile domestic violence cases involving players like Ray Rice and Carolina Panthers' Greg Hardy and a child abuse case for Minnesota Vikings star Adrian Peterson, Gates wants football fans to see that there are NFL stars who are pushing for change, in and out of their own locker rooms.
"I'm speaking for so many players that haven't had a voice. We play such an important role in society today, because so many kids look up to us, so when you see so many guys in the limelight for the wrong things, kids see that," Gates said. "I think it is important that guys that kids look up to get portrayed in a positive way. That's what I tried to display today."
New Orleans Saints tight end Benjamin Watson flew to Dallas with his daughter to film his part in the PSA and said he found it a powerful experience, to say forceful words aimed mostly at men about changing behavior and ultimately, a culture that has accepted violence against women.
"This is about standing out and being a leader -- it's a great challenge to me, as a father of four, as a husband, as a player in the league," Watson said. "Domestic violence -- men's violence against women -- whether emotional, physical, sexual – won't end until we raise a generation of men who have the morality and the courage to change it."
The NFL is working to revise its personal conduct policy to set better policies for players involved in domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse. That will include setting standards for when players would be suspended -- after an allegation, an arrest, while charges or post-adjudication. The NFL has already announced enhanced penalties under the current policy – a six-game suspension for a first offense, followed by an indefinite ban for a second offense.
But those punishments aren't what is most important, Gay said. And that's part of why he is speaking up – both to players on his own team, and now on a very public platform.
"Some of my teammates talk about the penalties – you can get six games, or a year, or money taken away from you. But the important thing they need to hear is: People die from domestic violence. That's the ultimate penalty, and that's what we need to focus on," Gay said. "Don't focus on the money or the game, because all of that stuff can be replaced. Life can't."