How to Deal with a Partner Who Is Always Late

It's been said time and time again that finding and embarking on a fulfilling relationship often comes down to timing, but what if timing is what's actually causing the biggest strain on the partnership you're already in? If and your significant other are deeply committed to one another but the only thing that's not working is that fact that your partner is constantly late, you might feel both unfilled and undervalued. After all, someone who constantly arrives after a pre-agreed upon time may leave you feeling like they believe their time is more important than yours. While that can be true in some instances, it's not always so premeditated; unfortunately, some people just simply can't stay on schedule. So, next time you find yourself waiting for what feels like forever at a restaurant, missing out on plans, or being late yourself because of them, take a deep breath: You won't have to lie about the time of an event (in hopes of arriving as planned) forever.

Some of us are guided by an internal clock that ticks loudly in our minds. If you can't stand an open timeframe, but your partner loves being fashionably-late, it's okay. Odds are that they're not doing it to get under your skin—they just move to a different rhythm. Here, we'll help you deal with a partner who is never on time and find a healthy balance with those you love.

Talk It Out

If your partner is constantly late, it's important to make it abundantly clear to them know how their actions affect you. They may not recognize that their tardiness can cause you stress, anxiety, or even embarrassment. By simply letting your partner know exactly how you feel, they may be moved to make a change.

It might also be worth discussing why they're constantly running behind. Are they really struggling to stick to a schedule, or do they simply live life with a "go-with-the-flow" attitude? If it's the former, you two may be able to come up with simple solutions to help them stay on track; if it's the latter, being open about why a schedule is so important could help avoid issues in the future.

Whatever their reasons might be, when you openly (and honestly) vocalize how their behavior affects you, your partner might find the incentive to make a positive change going forward.

Set a Good Example

Maybe you've been frustrated when you arrived late to the office party because it made you look bad in front of your boss. Perhaps their tardiness feels more like a sign that they don't make you—or your relationship—a priority. Everyone has different boundaries on the topic, but that doesn't mean you can't work well together. When your partner is always late (and causing you to be late with them), it's important to demonstrate the alternative behavior that you’d like to see. That means employing your own time management strategies.

Show your partner how you don’t wait until the last minute to get ready for plans because you know how long it takes to get dressed. Prioritize your chores so you don’t waste time with minuscule tasks that can wait until later. By serving as an example of the change you want to see in your partner, it might be easier for them to get in their own groove. It's also helpful to gently nudge them when it's time to start getting ready for an event: Show them exactly how much they need to plan ahead.

Make It Easy for Your Partner

While it's incredibly frustrating to always be the one waiting, time management might just not be your partner's strength. Try mustering up some compassion to give them extra support. Provide them with as much information as possible to eliminate the unknown.

For example, if you’re bringing your significant other to a dinner party, begin by telling them what the attire is, where it’s located, and when you need to leave in order to arrive on time. If you’re meeting your partner downtown for drinks, give them the exact address and route so they can see in real-time how long it will take them to get there. For those especially-important events—like weddings and office parties—plan your schedule to be at home when your partner gets ready. When you're by their side, you can help get them up and ready according to schedule (and ride together to prevent delays in travel).

These little acts of assistance can make a huge impact. Hopefully, your partner's time management skills will begin to improve so you won't have to encourage them forever.

Don’t Miss Out

It's also important to understand why your partner is always late, and you might need to change the way you make plans in order to ensure that it doesn't affect your punctuality. You shouldn't have to be late to events that are important to you. Remember that you don't always need to arrive with your partner: It's okay to set out early on your own. If they're met with confused (or even judging) eyes when they show up an hour late, it won't reflect on you. It might even be an incentive for them to work on time management so they don't miss out on quality time with you.

Make a Judgment Call 

In the end, it’s up to you to figure out if your partner’s tardiness is something you can adjust to or if it's a deal-breaker. Everyone is late once in a while. Compromise plays a vital role in happy, successful, long-term relationships, so be understanding as your partner starts to get the hang of it. With a little help, it's likely that you can find a routine that works better for you both.

Ultimately, your partner might learn to make the date on time, or you might just need to adjust the way you make plans—only time will tell.