Stephen Curry did the impossible, again

So, someone's going to explain to God how we let something like this happen:

This is just unreal. Adam Silver has barely been in office for a few months and already he's letting superhumans compete in the NBA. Stephen Curry is basically shooting that with Anthony Davis and Tyreke Evans so tight on him that they may as well be Tapout shirts at a Powerhouse gym. They're right in front of his face. They can smell his armpit sweat. Tyreke Evans would probably tell you that Curry's heartbeat is his favorite song at this point. That's how close they are to each other in this shot.

It's not even like he's shooting over normal players here. Evans at 6'6 isn't the most fearsome defender, nor does he have the most size but he's still pretty tall, big and athletic. And of course, there's the fact that Anthony Davis is the final form of an assembled Megazord. His damn wingspan is the infinity symbol. Davis is built like the Iron Giant once he goes into attack mode, and Curry just launches a suicidal shot over him and Evans like it was routine.

The worst part is that almost everyone expected this. With two seconds left, there was no one who didn't know that the point guard that looks like a '90s teen movie star who is telling all the other kids to be quiet so they can get out of detention early would get the ball. We just didn't expect him to turn into Johnny Storm as well. You can't even consider that shot a heat check. That's a damn California heat wave.

That shot is just impossible. It should have been a four-point play because obviously the Pelicans wanted to destroy all things Curry at that point, but the ref was such in disbelief that he probably swallowed his whistle. He reffed overtime with the air of a man who's seen a gruesome murder and doesn't want to get involved because he has a family at home. That ref is somewhere right now sitting by the water and skipping rocks. He hasn't answered any phone calls from his family members. Everything that he ever thought was real now makes no sense to him.

Curry practically shut down everything New Orleans with that shot. Mardi Gras will be rated PG this year. Gumbo is now considered the worst dish in the world. Jazz has been relegated under country music. Reese Witherspoon is now unemployed, True Blood is worse than Twilight, the French Quarter is now to have a white flag flying at all times, bars are to be closed by six in the evening, Drew Brees is now to be traded to the Atlanta Falcons, and poker and craps are to be outlawed.

There's no angle that makes this shot even probable:

He's shooting that from a safe house. Curry would have been well within his rights to tell Anthony Davis and Tyreke Evans that he just needs his space right now and that they should take a break. Just to see how if they still feel the same way about each other after. It's just not the same anymore. But he didn't, he just took the shot like the guy who's been buying drinks all night and it's 1:55 a.m. at the bar.

Stephen Hawking would have ripped out his voice box in disgust after watching this.

The difficulty of this shot is set right above "when is our anniversary?" and "does this dress make me look fat?"

If this happened in any video game, you would be pausing the game to look at the difficulty setting and checking where the sliders are set. It's utterly ridiculous. This is the moment where you accidentally kick the Nintendo cartridge so it can freeze. Or you drop your controller on the reset button. Or just altogether unplug your Internet and then tell the person you're playing against that you just have a bad connection.

"It's AT&T man, they're always slowing down my Internet during the night. Let's run the game back."

The Pelicans don't deserve this. They played their tails off this game and pushed Golden State to the brink. Curry just decided to teach them in the harshest way that it doesn't matter how good you are or how hard you try, the world will punch you in the stomach and call you names as you gasp for air.

So that's the lesson here. Life sucks, don't have hope, or Steph Curry will plunge a dagger of a three down your throat in a manner that would make Brutus blush. He may look like an innocent, sweet and approachable guy, but that's just Curry's facade. Inside, he's nothing less than the destroyer of worlds.

★★★

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