This month Purple Turtle was named one of the country's most tragic nightclubs by student news network The Tab and I am absolutely furious about it.
In my mind Purple Turtle is one of the very best places in the world and despite the number of gin and tonics I've consumed there, some of my best memories were made there.
I've made friends there (us girls do a lot of bonding in those toilets), I've celebrated birthdays, anniversaries and many a Christmas Eve there, and it's where my husband and I had our first kiss.
In fact, this perfect little bar holds such a special place in my heart that on our wedding day we returned to that chequerboard dance floor with our photographer.
By definition, tragic means something that causes extreme sorrow.
Is the Purple Turtle tragic?
0+ VOTES SO FAR
And while I spent some nights of my formative years sobbing in the smoking area (or outside the front door on that one painful night I wasn't allowed in,) the vast majority of my time spent there has been happy.
I certainly can't speak for everyone, but these are just a few of the reasons I believe Purple Turtle is the antithesis of tragic.
The music
One of the reasons The Tab gave to back up it's statement is that "you’ll find lots of very young people dancing awkwardly and shouting very loudly along to Don’t Stop Believing."
Sorry The Tab, but that is ********.
I estimate that over the last nine years I've spent well over 200 nights in Turtle - there was one year that I was working in The Cunning Man and it was pretty much a given that we'd go there after closing up - but I don't believe I've ever heard that song, neither the Journey nor the Glee version.
I'm not going to argue that it's never been played there, there is a juke box after all and drunk people have seriously questionable judgement, but it's not the kind of song you're going to hear very often.
Instead of grinding on some of Reading's dance floors to whatever track was in the charts that weekend I spent my clubbing years jumping up and down to The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Jimmi Hendrix and Beastie Boys.
That bright purple door
You can't look at it and be sad, you just can't.
The outside
A large proportion of my nights at Turtle were before it got it's big makeover, and now the outside area is like something from a fairy tale with table football, loads of seating, an extra bar and a shisha deck.
But even before that, the best conversations in Reading were held on those wooden picnic tables. There is a sense of community that you just don't get anywhere else at that time in the morning!
Almost everyone there is up for a ridiculous conversation with a stranger and it's one of the things I love most about Purple Turtle.
The drinks
Now, I'm not really a beer drinker, and I know my dad would disagree with me on this one because the last time he went the only non-lager option was Newcastle Brown Ale (there's a greater selection now).
But have you ever tried a Zombie Nation? If not, stop whatever you're doing, get yourself to Turtle and order one immediately, I implore you.
Sure they're expensive, name a Reading bar open after midnight where they aren't, but it's the experience of having a real glass (a very rare thing these days), and the staff knowing what the appropriate garnish is for a G&T. FYI it's not lemon.
The owners
Danny Fraifeld and Greg Muden are the reason the bar is so popular and why, while many bars change hands time and time again, it has been there for 27 years.
They love Reading and they love their customers, so much so they were recently named on getreading's influence list .
The bands
Only recently has Purple Turtle had the BBC Introducing rights, but even before then there were always great bands playing throughout the week.
Purple Turtle gives local musicians a chance to get up on a stage and play their hearts out - some for the first time.
Before I turned 18 I tried to sneak in through the back garden with a friend's band on what would have been one of their first gigs. I was rightly booted out and though the band has now split two of its former members now tour the world playing rock music. It's unlikely this is down to The Purple Turtle but I know they were grateful for the gig!
The toilets
They've been mentioned once but I need to go there again.
Now, post-makeover, the toilets are lovely, but even before the work they were my favourite on a night out. The ratio of doors to stalls was slightly off but that just added to the experience!
So there it is, all the reasons I love Purple Turtle and why it definitely is NOT tragic. And if you don't agree with me then we're going to have problems.
