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There is a river we must cross over,
When life's sun goes to sleep in the west;
There'll be a light for me at the crossing,
Guiding me to that home of sweet rest.
I sing this song to my son every night. He twists and turns in his bed like light looking for a way through and I sing this verse over and over again until he quiets down, until his eyes grow heavy. There is a miracle in falling asleep - how does it happen? What moves the switch from waking to not, from this world to the other? Where do we go when we dream?
* * * * *
I feel myself being stretched into a new form these days, warmed and worked like an old piece of putty. The old shape had grown too comfortable, and now I feel the brittle cracks form as something new is begun in me. It escapes in sharp edges and words released too quickly. Impatience and pushiness. I love transformation. I do not love being transformed.
Feeling uncertain because of all the changes, I look for signs of my old self. I wait for the approval of my friends and of strangers, I search the eyes of my wife, I peer down dark alleys and up into rusty fire escapes. Who can tell me who I am? Who will tell me what I want to hear?
* * * * *
There are so many ways to distract ourselves from the transformation we are undergoing. Where might we find our true selves, in the midst of all these crashing waves, all these unceasing sounds?
Do we have the courage to pull away from the crowds, to take a break from proclaiming our crucial messages? Can we accept the fact that we are not everything, that the world will go on spinning without us?
* * * * *
I walk in the rain at first light, down James Street, and then up Prince. The dim, gray light creeps in between the buildings. Night scurries into dark holes and behind boarded windows. I walk the streets of this city and I breathe in the air and I know who I am.
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Remember, please sign up HERE to join the launch team for The Day the Angels Fell and receive your free advance reader copy next spring/summer. All I ask in return is your honest review of the book online (Amazon, B&N, somewhere like that) and your help in spreading the word when the book comes out.
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I'm eagerly anticipating the release of this book by Andi Cumbo-Floyd. Find out more about it HERE.
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My friend Kelly and I are facilitating a quiet day at the beautiful Oasis center to reflect on writing as witness. If you'd like to join us, you can check out the details HERE.
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"Of course you can make your life better with certain decisions and your work plays into that, but your happiness isn’t tied to a career or a lifestyle. That is too fragile and small-minded an approach to life." (Read more HERE.)
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