Surrogacy for Hope & Colin
Donation protected
How would you ask someone to carry your baby for you?
Hope and I don't know either.
As some of you know, we tragically lost our infant son Myron Joshua last year and found out not too long afterwards that Hope cannot safely carry any more children. (There is a detailed account of what happened to us below.)
This is Hope seeing our beautiful son Myron Joshua McCarthy for the first time.
The experience of losing Myron was devastating and the news that it would likely happen again if we got pregnant seemed to rob us of what hope we had left.
But we haven't given up.
Specialists have told us that the risk of recurrance would virtually disappear if another woman were to carry our child.
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Our main goal with this campaign is to find a gestational surrogate to carry our child.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We want to let our friends know that we are looking for someone to be a gestational carrier. You can help us by spreading the word.
Being a surrogate is by no means a small thing, but having our own children would be a dream come true.
If we are just trying to get the word out, why did we start a fund-raising campaign?
To hire a professional surrogate is very expensive. Including medical costs, legal fees, agency fees, etc., it can be as much as $100,000 (25 - 50% of which is just the surrogate's fee).
Our hope is that through this campaign, we would find someone willing and able to help us by carrying our child as a compassionate surrogate. We would still bear all the costs of the process, but the surrogate would expect a smaller fee than typical or no fee at all (this is called "compassionate surrogacy").
Although our hope is for a compassionate surrogate, if we cannot find one then we do intend to hire someone. Hence the fund-raising.
What qualifies someone to be a surrogate?
There are actually quite a few boxes to be checked before a person is "approved" to be a surrogate (e.g. medical screening, psychological screening, etc.). But here are two interesting things we've learned:
1. A surrogate should have had at least one pregnancy and delivery previously.
2. A surrogate can be post-menapausal. With a doctor's consent, it is okay for a surrogate to be post-menapausal.
If you have any questions for us about surrogacy, or if you possibly feel like you might be up for it, please feel free to contact us through this website or email us (Colin — [email redacted] or Hope — [email redacted]).
We will post updates as things progress.
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Our Story, as told by Hope
Colin and I have been married for 7 years. Both of us grew up in big families and have always shared the dream of having children of our own. We tried for several years to get pregnant and were finally successful in the fall of 2015. Words cannot express our joy when we found out I was pregnant. Everything was going well, and at the 20 week appointment we heard that our baby was a healthy little boy. I’ll never forget Colin’s tears and his joy when he saw our son moving around in the sonogram picture—I’ve never seen Colin so happy.
However, unexpectedly and without warning, at 23 weeks of pregnancy I developed severe early onset preeclampsia. For most expectant mothers, this condition may occur in late pregnancy. However, in this case the situation was more serious and rare: I was only 23 weeks pregnant (less than 0.6% of women who develop preeclampsia do so this early in pregnancy) and the preeclampsia was complicated by HELLP syndrome. I was immediately rushed to the hospital, put on bedrest, started on magnesium sulfate, and given steroid injections to help develop our son’s lungs more quickly. The doctors knew we’d have to deliver soon. But they told us that every moment our baby had to develop in the womb would increase his chances.
Although it was dangerous, and I swelled up like a balloon, we worked closely with the doctors to wait until the last possible second to deliver; every moment in the womb was critical to our baby. To our dismay, the disease progressed quickly, and at 24 weeks we had no choice: the doctors had to do an immediate emergency C-section.
Our beautiful son, Myron Joshua, was in the NICU for five days. He was a brave, energetic, feisty little boy and he fought incredibly hard. I was not allowed off bedrest for the first few days after his birth, but Colin stayed by Myron’s incubator night and day, talking and singing to him.
We lost our precious son Myron Joshua after five days in the NICU. The doctors did everything they could, but our baby boy was just too premature and his lungs couldn’t process carbon dioxide. I had an eclamptic seizure about 27 hours after giving birth—the preeclampsia had progressed to full-blown eclampsia, and was nearly fatal.
During the time since losing our son, Colin and I have been enveloped by the loving support of so many of our family and friends. We will never forget how you all have been carrying us through.
Colin and I still want to have children. But we have been told by specialists that due to the unusual severity and early occurrence of the preeclampsia, if I were to carry a child there would be a high risk that the same tragedy would occur again. Preeclampsia specialists also told us that having a gestational surrogate would prevent the risk of recurrence.
To us, becoming parents through surrogacy would seem like a miracle. We realize, though, that carrying a child is a tremendous thing, so we would appreciate your help in finding someone to be a gestational surrogate for us.
Surrogacy is a bit of an awkward topic, so no pressure, but if you feel to tell your friends that we're looking for a surrogate, we would appreciate it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surrogacy Details
The process of having another person carry a couple's genetic embryo is called Gestational Surrogacy.
The cost to the intended parents for this type of surrogacy is very high--typically $100,000 per child. The reason for the high cost is that this kind of procedure is not covered by our insurance. The process involves in vitro fertilization, embryo implantation and the cost of finding and hiring a surrogate mother. Each step is costly and it is never guaranteed that the first attempt will be successful, which would mean multiple attempts must be made, each very expensive.
However, by far the biggest expense involved in Gestational Surrogacy is the fee to hire a surrogate and to cover her medical expenses during the pregnancy. We have been praying and asking the Lord if He would move someone to offer themselves to help us by carrying our child; but if none are available then one must be hired. The typical fees and expenses for a surrogate make up the bulk of the $100,000 cost mentioned above.
If you have any sense to help, we cannot thank you enough. But the last thing we want is for any of our friends to feel obligated or burdened. Your prayers are regarded as most precious and are valued above any other gift. If you feel to give to help offset these costs, we are very grateful. Thank you.
Hope and I don't know either.
As some of you know, we tragically lost our infant son Myron Joshua last year and found out not too long afterwards that Hope cannot safely carry any more children. (There is a detailed account of what happened to us below.)
This is Hope seeing our beautiful son Myron Joshua McCarthy for the first time.
The experience of losing Myron was devastating and the news that it would likely happen again if we got pregnant seemed to rob us of what hope we had left.
But we haven't given up.
Specialists have told us that the risk of recurrance would virtually disappear if another woman were to carry our child.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our main goal with this campaign is to find a gestational surrogate to carry our child.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We want to let our friends know that we are looking for someone to be a gestational carrier. You can help us by spreading the word.
Being a surrogate is by no means a small thing, but having our own children would be a dream come true.
If we are just trying to get the word out, why did we start a fund-raising campaign?
To hire a professional surrogate is very expensive. Including medical costs, legal fees, agency fees, etc., it can be as much as $100,000 (25 - 50% of which is just the surrogate's fee).
Our hope is that through this campaign, we would find someone willing and able to help us by carrying our child as a compassionate surrogate. We would still bear all the costs of the process, but the surrogate would expect a smaller fee than typical or no fee at all (this is called "compassionate surrogacy").
Although our hope is for a compassionate surrogate, if we cannot find one then we do intend to hire someone. Hence the fund-raising.
What qualifies someone to be a surrogate?
There are actually quite a few boxes to be checked before a person is "approved" to be a surrogate (e.g. medical screening, psychological screening, etc.). But here are two interesting things we've learned:
1. A surrogate should have had at least one pregnancy and delivery previously.
2. A surrogate can be post-menapausal. With a doctor's consent, it is okay for a surrogate to be post-menapausal.
If you have any questions for us about surrogacy, or if you possibly feel like you might be up for it, please feel free to contact us through this website or email us (Colin — [email redacted] or Hope — [email redacted]).
We will post updates as things progress.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our Story, as told by Hope
Colin and I have been married for 7 years. Both of us grew up in big families and have always shared the dream of having children of our own. We tried for several years to get pregnant and were finally successful in the fall of 2015. Words cannot express our joy when we found out I was pregnant. Everything was going well, and at the 20 week appointment we heard that our baby was a healthy little boy. I’ll never forget Colin’s tears and his joy when he saw our son moving around in the sonogram picture—I’ve never seen Colin so happy.
However, unexpectedly and without warning, at 23 weeks of pregnancy I developed severe early onset preeclampsia. For most expectant mothers, this condition may occur in late pregnancy. However, in this case the situation was more serious and rare: I was only 23 weeks pregnant (less than 0.6% of women who develop preeclampsia do so this early in pregnancy) and the preeclampsia was complicated by HELLP syndrome. I was immediately rushed to the hospital, put on bedrest, started on magnesium sulfate, and given steroid injections to help develop our son’s lungs more quickly. The doctors knew we’d have to deliver soon. But they told us that every moment our baby had to develop in the womb would increase his chances.
Although it was dangerous, and I swelled up like a balloon, we worked closely with the doctors to wait until the last possible second to deliver; every moment in the womb was critical to our baby. To our dismay, the disease progressed quickly, and at 24 weeks we had no choice: the doctors had to do an immediate emergency C-section.
Our beautiful son, Myron Joshua, was in the NICU for five days. He was a brave, energetic, feisty little boy and he fought incredibly hard. I was not allowed off bedrest for the first few days after his birth, but Colin stayed by Myron’s incubator night and day, talking and singing to him.
We lost our precious son Myron Joshua after five days in the NICU. The doctors did everything they could, but our baby boy was just too premature and his lungs couldn’t process carbon dioxide. I had an eclamptic seizure about 27 hours after giving birth—the preeclampsia had progressed to full-blown eclampsia, and was nearly fatal.
During the time since losing our son, Colin and I have been enveloped by the loving support of so many of our family and friends. We will never forget how you all have been carrying us through.
Colin and I still want to have children. But we have been told by specialists that due to the unusual severity and early occurrence of the preeclampsia, if I were to carry a child there would be a high risk that the same tragedy would occur again. Preeclampsia specialists also told us that having a gestational surrogate would prevent the risk of recurrence.
To us, becoming parents through surrogacy would seem like a miracle. We realize, though, that carrying a child is a tremendous thing, so we would appreciate your help in finding someone to be a gestational surrogate for us.
Surrogacy is a bit of an awkward topic, so no pressure, but if you feel to tell your friends that we're looking for a surrogate, we would appreciate it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surrogacy Details
The process of having another person carry a couple's genetic embryo is called Gestational Surrogacy.
The cost to the intended parents for this type of surrogacy is very high--typically $100,000 per child. The reason for the high cost is that this kind of procedure is not covered by our insurance. The process involves in vitro fertilization, embryo implantation and the cost of finding and hiring a surrogate mother. Each step is costly and it is never guaranteed that the first attempt will be successful, which would mean multiple attempts must be made, each very expensive.
However, by far the biggest expense involved in Gestational Surrogacy is the fee to hire a surrogate and to cover her medical expenses during the pregnancy. We have been praying and asking the Lord if He would move someone to offer themselves to help us by carrying our child; but if none are available then one must be hired. The typical fees and expenses for a surrogate make up the bulk of the $100,000 cost mentioned above.
If you have any sense to help, we cannot thank you enough. But the last thing we want is for any of our friends to feel obligated or burdened. Your prayers are regarded as most precious and are valued above any other gift. If you feel to give to help offset these costs, we are very grateful. Thank you.
Organizer
Hope Petrash McCarthy
Organizer
Irving, TX
