New Grandson, Swami's Book Launch, Canadian Eyeball Scanner Help Put Things in Perspective

It's been two weeks since your loyal columnist checked in. A lot has happened and here’s the abbreviated version:

I traveled to New York just in time for the arrival of my youngest daughter’s baby, making Kathy and me grandparents for the second time.

I met a famous Swami at the .

I traveled to Calgary on business and found the eyeball reader for the expedited Nexus custom clearing made me dizzy.

I’m back home now, tuckered out, but still smiling from all that keeps life so interesting!

Let’s start at the top.

My youngest daughter, Moira, and her husband Mike Clark were expecting their first child on July 23. They live in Suffern, NY, a suburb about 45 minutes outside New York City. Kathy left me to fend for myself a week before the due date so she could help Moira prepare for the big day, which turned out to be July 30. I arrived about three hours before the birth and spent the time fretting and fidgeting at Moira's and Mike’s house.

For some reason I was more nervous about my daughters having babies than my wife Kathy. Of course, when Kathy was having our children, I may have been in such a state of befuddlement and amazement that I really didn’t have time to worry.

But all went well and by early evening I had Eli William Clark in my arms with his bright eyes looking up at me and bringing tears to mine. Is there anything more precious than a just-born child curled up on your chest breathing those little baby breaths?

Now the controversy starts, as Mike Clark is a die-hard Yankee fan.   Our family, of course, is not. An early picture with a mini-Tiger hat on little Eli is a step in the right direction! Meanwhile, Kathy has been gone for nearly three weeks and I’m just a lonely guy moping around Royal Oak. Come home, Kathy!

Just before the trip to New York, I was privileged to be part of book launch at the Royal Oak Music Theatre for Swami Radanath, the author of The Journey Home. The Swami’s book tells the remarkable story of a Jewish kid from Chicago who takes a summer college trip in the late 1960s to Europe and lands up hitchhiking across Europe, Turkey, Pakistan and Iran before arriving in India. He stays for years studying with renowned swamis and yogis and becomes a deeply religious swami himself.  That is a very short summary and doesn’t do the story justice.

Today, the Swami, who owns nothing, spearheads an organization in India that feeds 250,000 children a day. I found The Journey Home to be a wonderful story. The Swami’s view is that there are so many different routes to God, but that nearly all routes include a life filled with kindness, humility and openness to a spiritual conversation with God. It’s hard to argue with those universal principles, especially from someone who lives that life daily. 

It was a grand evening at the Royal Oak Music Theatre. More than 900 people attended. Mayor Jim Ellison welcomed the Swami graciously and I did a commentary on the book. There was dancing, music and food and, for me, the highlight was meeting the Swami. He has a wonderful sense of humor. Yes, laughing with the Swami was a delight. I must tell you that I am not the most religious guy around, but when faced with a truly holy man, it sort of took my breath away. 

I also took a whirlwind business trip to Calgary. Because I go to Canada three or four times a year on business, I signed up for the expedited customs clearance called Nexus. After filling out a lot of papers, I had an eyeball or retina scan done so that when I go through customs at any Canadian airport, I can avoid the long lines and step right up to the eye scanner, gaze longingly into the machine and move on down the road. At least that’s the theory.

Here’s how it went for me: I strode to the scanning machine and leaned forward trying to match my eyeballs to the infrared hologram eyeballs of the scanner.

“Move back,” instructed a stern female voice with the hint of a Canadian accent.

“Move your eyes left.”  “Move back.” “Move your eyes right.”  “Move back.” 

I just couldn’t manage to line up my tri-color eyes with the dang scanner for the required one second needed to lock in and let me pass. The instructions continued and I started to feel flushed as I noticed the line getting longer behind me. I knew that everyone in the Nexus line was like me: severe type-A with zippy patience who spent the dough for Nexus to avoid nimrods like me in the usual line.

“Move back.” “Further.”  “Not that far, ditwad.”  “Eyes left.”  “C’mon mister, any idiot can do this!”  “Eyes right.”  “Oh, for the love of all that is holy, stop shaking!”

Finally, finally, I heard the sound of a snapshot and I believe I heard the machine and the crowd behind me all breathe a sigh of relief, or a muttered curse.

I’m sure it will be better next time.

Life is very interesting. It’s Monday, let’s go!

Gerry Boylan is the author of two books, "Getting There," a novel and "Gerry Tales," a collection of short stories. Both books are available at Amazon.com.  In addition, they are available for download for Kindle and Nook at Smashwords.com, Amazon.com and Barnes and Noble.com. Both books are available at the Yellow Door Art Market in Berkley.