4 Frightening Followers That Scare Off Social Dancers
After our Halloween themed article "12 Social Dance Partners Right Out of Horror Movies", we heard some interesting feedback - "what about the Followers? Can't they be scary too?"
It's true, the original article compared dance partners to Horror Movie villains, and they are, predominantly, male. Therefore, the article pointed the zombie finger in the direction of the Leaders.
So, keeping things fair across the board, we have assembled the following list of Followers that May Scare You, the unsuspecting Social Dancer.
The Nit Picker - Mommie Dearest
No Wire Hangers! Knowing that something as trivial as a wire coat hanger could set off such a rampage, you wonder what she'd do if someone spilled their Kool Aid on the living room carpet.
In Dancing
Similar to: "No Heel leads in Rumba", "No wimpy frames ever", and "No hip motion in Waltz".
While these nuggets of information may be correct, it is the source, and the delivery that matters most. Most social dancers have dance teachers, and ultimately - that is the ideal source of the information. Delivery wise, harsh pass/fail assessments will rarely produce the desired dance result, or a partner excited to hear the feedback.
The Fix
It's far easier to find fault than to pinpoint areas of subtle improvement. The trick for eliminating this Mommy Dearest tendency is to consider the bigger picture when it comes to dance progress. Has this person overcome a lot to begin their dance lessons? What has positively changed about this person since you danced with them last? To truly avoid the instant correction in the present, ask about their past so you can appreciate their progress.
The Heavy Load - Anaconda
While it's not your typical Horror movie, this early Jennifer Lopez film featured plenty of victims being weighed down and squeezed beyond their comfort level.
In Dancing
No one is calling you a snake, but regardless of your body weight, anyone can make their frame feel heavy. A dance frame is designed for a variety of purposes - it's decorative, it's how you send and receive dance signals, and the leader and follower connect it in a way to counterbalance each other. It is not designed for hauling freight, which is exactly what it would feel like to a leader if the follower dropped the weight of their upper body onto their unsuspecting partner.
The Fix
Think of how you'd cradle a baby. You're not holding it at arms length, in fact, your arms aren't even doing much work. Your back is supporting your arms. Now think of how you hold that same baby when they've got diaper issues. Safe to say that there's a little less cradle at that point. Most heavy frames happen when the leader or follower fail to use their back muscles, and posture, to minimize the weight in their arms.
The Doom and Gloom - The Shining
They seemed cute and innocent, but the twins from the classic movie The Shining make long hotel hallways a little creepier, and twins speaking in unison, with flashes of gruesome murder scenes, absolutely terrifying.
In Dancing
They may go by the Grady twins in the movie, but for our purposes, let's just call them "Doom and Gloom". This character is not exclusive to identical twins. In fact, the singular version has many aliases such as - "Debbie Downer", "Wendy Whiner", or "Big Time Drama McGee". Unfortunately, this dancer finds the smog in the beautiful sunset, tells you everything they felt went wrong at their last dance event, and is the last person you'd want a pep talk from.
The Fix
It's true, sometimes people can connect over negativity. Unfortunately, that's generally not what dance partners are looking for. The fix? Leave it at the door. Honestly, people invest too much of their time, effort, and resources so they can have a sanctuary away from drama.
The Un-follower - The Exorcist
The Exorcist is probably the scariest movie ever made, so let's just assume that any comparison to this movie to how someone dances will seem incredibly more severe than necessary. With that established, let's just say, long story short, that Morgan, the main character, had some communication issues - on an epic level.
In Dancing
There will be challenges that range from minor missteps as a follower, to full-blown, "I am taking over", sort-of Exorcist like backleading.
The Fix
We wrote an article about Leading and Following that might help. Essentially, following is a micro trust exercise for each step you take. It's being willing to move backwards, forwards, side to side with enough of a delay that the leader can guide you to your spot. Bail out too early, and you could make a minor following flaw. Throw in the towel and start steering and the Exorcist references may not be as severe as originally thought.
Final Thought
Learning to follow in social dancing is more than just remembering some patterns, and not forgetting to breathe. It's a different mindset, and it takes time. As humans, don't have a natural predisposition to wait around for things - especially when you feel fully capable to operate. But therein lies the rub. You know the melody, can sing the heck out of it, but you're taking on the harmony. That means you're blending with someone else, someone that, at times, may even sing at a different pace, and with a different voice, than you. But that's what makes it sound, look, and feel beautiful.
Scarier than any of these characters would be someone completely uninterested in developing on their side of the dance frame. But that's not you - you're the furthest thing from an Exorcist reference.
- Image Credits:
- The Shining
- The Exorcist
- Anaconda
- Mommie Dearest
